Queen of Swords

From Odin this morning:

Before anything else: your gods, your husband, your daughter, your ancestors.


I need to connect and center on what's most important, what's foundational, for me before I reach out and start connecting with others through my internet communities -- which is the backward way I've been acting for the past several years.

Also: now that I'm in a place where I'm no longer starved for energy and emotional stability, it's time for me to start finding out what the gods would like from me in the way of devotional practices and offerings.

Connecting with my ancestors is a whole new area of my spiritual life, and it's progressing slowly -- but it is progressing. I've found a place for an ancestor altar, and I'm starting to trace back my family tree -- which is surprisingly easy, given a good genealogy program attached to one of the major genealogy websites. It turns out a lot of my extended family has done a lot of research and made it available to share. I'm starting to learn about where I came from.

My mom has just put a lot of effort into make a whole series of family scrapbooks, and I'm going to find out what I can about my ancestors through those -- and hopefully get some scans of the photos. I also have living extended family in the region who might be able to share photos and stories with me.

"Integration" is a big theme for me right now, as is "mindfulness." One of the tasks that's been in the back of my mind for a while is that of mapping out just what being a priestess means to me on a day-by-day basis.

The following is what I have so far. As always, it is subject to revision and not intended to be prescriptive for anyone else.

The heart of being a priestess is my relationship with my gods. Everything centers there; everything else grows from there. As with human beings, nurturing a divine relationship involves time, caring, and two-way communication. My spiritual relationships are nurtured by prayer (spiritual-speak for "conversation"), worship, journeying, meditation, and daily connection rituals.

The disciplines of magical practice, energy work and meditation are the tools of personal refinement. They make me more effective in serving the will of the gods, on this plane as well as others. Without the skill and knowledge to act on them meaningfully, good intentions are nothing more than warm, fuzzy feelings and only count for so much.

Ideally, the combination of relationship and refinement result in a heart and mind that are capable of experiencing and expressing deeper love and compassion, fairness, generosity, calmness, and joy -- and the will and capacity to express and act on them in meaningful ways. My own performance in this area is spotty, but I remain convinced by Emanuel Swedenborg and my friend lovetakesyouin that unless the spiritual life results in meaningful acts of love and service, it falls short of its purpose. What these acts are is between an individual and their gods. We all serve in different ways. The point is that my spiritual life should ultimately be about more than just my own personal development and well-being.

I also remain convinced that my physical health and well-being are -- or should be -- part of my priestess work. If I'm too tired or in poor condition, my ability to engage in relationship, to maintain my disciplines, and to be of use to someone other than myself is compromised. Similarly, keeping my hearth in order gives me a peaceful, energetically clean space in which it is easier to focus and be productive.

For me personally, everything else emerges out of this foundation. I want my priestess life to also include teaching and spiritual direction with others, magical and temple work, observing holidays with my daughter and other friends, and etc. But without the fundamentals, the rest isn't going to happen -- or if it does, it will fall short of what I'm truly capable of.