Tipping Point

[qos]

I haven't written about this publically, but on Monday I had a follow-up mammogram ("retakes to get a better photo," I joked). The second mammogram was followed in quick succession by an ultrasound and a biopsy. I've been waiting since Monday afternoon for the results, and the contemplation of the possibility of facing breast cancer has triggered some intensely important realizations.

Chief among those realizations was that I felt far more dread at the thought of spending several more years working in my day job than I did dying from cancer. Yes, that's right: continuing my day job was, for me, "a fate worse than death."

Granted, death is far less fearful for me than it is for many (see my entry of a few minute ago), but talk about getting A Wake Up Call. Among other things, I'm now actively looking for a therapist who can help me work through whatever psychological issues continue to hold me back from making the significant changes in my professional life that I've been talking about and making unsuccessful or abortive attempts at for the past several years.

The lab just called to tell me that the spot they biopsied was benign.

That's good news, and I'm grateful.

But it's clear that I have other "health" issues in my life that need to be addressed as vigorously as cancer would have been.

Comments

[a-belletrist.livejournal.com]

That's awesome news! And I love how the process opened a window for you so you could see the view of your inner landscape in a clearer fashion.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

It's hard not to feel like I've just gone through the equivalent of receiving an engraved invitation on a silver platter saying You need to address certain issues more vigorously.

Or maybe "marching orders" is more accurate than "invitation." ;-)

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

I am glad that the biopsy was benign, and I am glad that you are taking steps toward self-care.

[jcalanthe]

Wow, I'm so glad to hear it was benign.

& go you for taking steps to find your way out of your job! I'll be cheering you on from here.

[erl-queen.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad it was benign! What a relief!

It's great, though, that you are aware enough to notice when the universe is telling you to pay attention! So hopefully some good things will come of this.

[queenofhalves]

good -- both that it was benign, and for the wake-up call aspect. :>

[oakmouse]

*major hugs*

[alfrecht.livejournal.com]

I'm relieved it's all right!

[sharpchick.livejournal.com]

I am so glad it was such good news.

I think it is not uncommon for something such as this to "prompt" us to look more closely at our lives over all.

Congrats to you.

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

I'm glad for all these new openings to move toward more health and balance.

[royalbananafish.livejournal.com]

Wake-me-ups come in many forms.

You're a tough cookie and will figure it out.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

I've always liked the phrase "tough cookie" but had never thought of myself as one.

Thank you. :-)