Tipping Point
Sep. 26th, 2008 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI haven't written about this publically, but on Monday I had a follow-up mammogram ("retakes to get a better photo," I joked). The second mammogram was followed in quick succession by an ultrasound and a biopsy. I've been waiting since Monday afternoon for the results, and the contemplation of the possibility of facing breast cancer has triggered some intensely important realizations.
Chief among those realizations was that I felt far more dread at the thought of spending several more years working in my day job than I did dying from cancer. Yes, that's right: continuing my day job was, for me, "a fate worse than death."
Granted, death is far less fearful for me than it is for many (see my entry of a few minute ago), but talk about getting A Wake Up Call. Among other things, I'm now actively looking for a therapist who can help me work through whatever psychological issues continue to hold me back from making the significant changes in my professional life that I've been talking about and making unsuccessful or abortive attempts at for the past several years.
The lab just called to tell me that the spot they biopsied was benign.
That's good news, and I'm grateful.
But it's clear that I have other "health" issues in my life that need to be addressed as vigorously as cancer would have been.
Chief among those realizations was that I felt far more dread at the thought of spending several more years working in my day job than I did dying from cancer. Yes, that's right: continuing my day job was, for me, "a fate worse than death."
Granted, death is far less fearful for me than it is for many (see my entry of a few minute ago), but talk about getting A Wake Up Call. Among other things, I'm now actively looking for a therapist who can help me work through whatever psychological issues continue to hold me back from making the significant changes in my professional life that I've been talking about and making unsuccessful or abortive attempts at for the past several years.
The lab just called to tell me that the spot they biopsied was benign.
That's good news, and I'm grateful.
But it's clear that I have other "health" issues in my life that need to be addressed as vigorously as cancer would have been.
