Queen of Swords

I have been here well over an hour.

During that time I have watered five or six young trees.

The rest of the time has been spent wrestling with very long hoses, non-strategically placed pumps, nozzles, nettles, and thistles. I still have not managed to get a working hose configuration after reaching the limit of the one I started with. I'm filthy, wet, and have a small nettle irritation on the side of my left hand. It rains lightly every so often, but not enough to do the trees any good, only enough to mock me.

The Queen of Swords chose a volunteer gig involving Water why?

I am taking a break to drink water and clear my head before starting over. Part of me just wants to flee, but that would be shameful. I refuse to be beaten by a garden hose, no matter how long and recalcitrant!

I went to the networking event and had a good time, although I did elect to leave "early". I had allowed two hours for the event, and had rescheduled another appointment for later this afternoon. When the tour took longer than I anticipated, I bowed out of the drumming/affirmation circle and potluck as gracefully as I could. I took a few minutes to do a private observance at the dolman, then headed home.

The tour included the labyrinth, of course, and our guide (the founder of the sanctuary -- a fascinating man) invited everyone to walk it.

I couldn't do it. Not with everyone else.

That labyrinth is the single most sacred spot on earth for me. When I enter it, I touch the deepest -- and most raw -- places in my heart and soul. I simply could not face embarking on that path with so many strangers around me. Maybe in the future. Not today.

Instead I stepped back into one of the shaded thickets so my lack of participation was less obvious, and offered prayers for those who were walking. Then I opened my eyes and let myself simply enjoy the beauty of the place and the day. When everyone had left the labyrinth, I took the broom and swept the entry stones.

The last time I went to the sanctuary, with Wolfling, we encountered two snakes. Today I had three squirrels come very close to me while I was alone. To me, squirrels have always meant play, and I took their presence with me as a message to lighten up and enjoy myself more, have some fun.

I slightly regret missing the potluck and getting the chance to talk more with folks, although I was getting "peopled out" after spending two hours with eleven strangers. I did, however, make a vital connection with a woman who is a celebrant for funerals for people who were not part of a specific faith tradition. Her service includes doing extensive interviews with family and friends and crafting a highly personalized eulogy, as well as leading the funeral service. We exchanged business cards, and are going to get in touch later.

I came home feeling a bit fried from the heat, the energetic and emotional side-effects of the tour, and the company, but am feeling much better after some Gatorade, a hair cut, a nap, and a 30-minute phone conversation with queenofhalves.

Today's lesson is to always research the location of a hotel before making reservations.

My retreat lodging turned out to be in the only standard issue small city on the island, which is also the home of a Navy base, complete with fighter jets.

The room was nice enough, but ten minutes after unpacking I knew I couldn't stay. If I was going to be in that kind of neighborhood I might as well have stayed home. And it was far enough from the places I did want to be that it wasn't worth it.

Management very graciously did not charge me the one night's fee I owed contractually.

I stopped at several more hotels on my way back south, but none of them worked out.

So here I am in the ferry line, about to head back to the mainland. I can do the writing and reflection I need to do at home, and do some day trips into the country if I need to get out for a while.

And the Daughter is off with her dad, so I'll still have my alone time.


(And I did complete the one ritual act that needed to be done on the island.)