Tell Me Again About the Spiral Path?

[qos]

One of the nice things about my life is that I usually feel like I am making progress. Sometimes the progress is slow. Sometimes I feel like "Wait a minute -- didn't I have this same a-ha moment at least once before?" But usually even the repeat lessons feel like I did start the latest iteration at a slightly higher level than the first time. I'm not going in circles, it's a spiral path. An upward one.

So it was with a certain amount of disgust yesterday that I stared down at the list I was writing in my journal and then wrote over it The Same Damn List. Because it was.

It was my "Pentacles list" -- the list of those areas of my life most in the need of love and sacralization and disciplined attention. Most in need of an infusion of joy.

Okay, maybe I am farther along than I was before. Previously the only way I could think of these tasks and goals were as distasteful but necessary chores. Now I recognize the need for them to be infused with joy and Spirit. The need to change how I relate to them, not just what I do.

But I don't feel any closer to that condition than I was before.



You've all seen the list before: Body (fitness, health, diet), Home (cleaning, organizing, cooking), Finances (regularly checking my accounts, budgeting, saving, reducing impulse spending), and Daughter (more quality time with her).

It all lies within the element of Earth, of Pentacles.

And I can not, for the life of me, make progress in any of those areas that is meaningful, institute any changes that last more than a couple of weeks. And I don't know how to get out of that rut.

_storyteller_ made a good suggestion yesterday. If I change my browser homepage to my bank's online accounts login page, it will help me remember to check my balance consistently. So I did that this morning, and that feels like a good step.

And if anyone else has any ideas for helping me to either institute small but meaningful changes, and/or make emotional changes, I'd appreciate it.

Hurm. "Making emotional changes" makes me think about the healing ritual I did a few months ago (posted under a filter). Maybe I need to do one around this area of my life. I seem to remember thinking about that several months ago but never got around to it. I got distracted by thoughts of more rituals around my sexuality. But I'm feeling pretty good in that area right now, and my next such ritual will be with someone else, at least a month or more in the future.

So concentrating on a making-friends-with-earth ritual could be very helpful.

Comments

[queenofhalves]

it's helped me to see taking care of these things as acts of self-love and self-care.

there's nothing better than mirror work for that -- looking in the mirror daily, concentrating, and doing focused, heartfelt affirmations. that's my first thought.

Capricorn Advise

[vsmallgoddess.livejournal.com]

Capricorn is an earth/ penticles symbol. I am one and isn't the daughter also? Now, you know me and I am No "earth mother" type, but I may still have some advise for this area (not the finances, no clue there because I considder that a fluid thing): Follow your child. Spending more time with her is meaningful to her no matter how you do or don't infuse it, even if you think you're only able to do it for a little while (a little while once a month/ week/ day is better than no time at all or time interrupted, yes?) so ask her to guide your earth ellament. Ask her what maked chores easier or fun for her. I'll bet she says just your company improves her attitude on it. And it should improve yours as well. I hope that helps. Good luck. Let me know.

[thalia-seawood.livejournal.com]

How old is your daughter?
One idea: Make a list of things you want to do with her. Ask her for the things *she* wants to do. Little things count as well, e.g. cooking something nice together, eating ice cream, watching a movie, feeding ducks, reading a book to one another, brush her hair, etc. (When I was about 9, every morning my mother combed my hair and made me pigtails. During this time, I read to her from one of my favorite books. We both enjoyed this ritual very much and I still remember it with happiness.) Try to do something every day - and like I said it doesn't have to be big.

2 cents worth

[toesontheground.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* I think some things are mostly just chores for most people most of the time. IMO you just have to find ways to accept that. If you can find ways to enjoy and appreciate them more, that's great, but don't beat yourself up because you don't want to do them, or because not only are you a bad *insert role here* but you are a bad spiritual seeker too because you don't find the divine there as much as you(?) think you should!

There are gazillions of self-help books on the topics you mention, so that tells us it's stuff lots of people struggle with (and that there are places to go if you want to change things).

One annoying-but-true thing I am trying to implement bit by bit in my own life is the recognition that if I have habits then they may as well be good ones. Some bad habits I've replaced, with surprising ease when I finally tried, others I've tried numerous times and they still stick. *shrugs* We're human :)

Kia kaha!