Tell Me Again About the Spiral Path?

[qos]

One of the nice things about my life is that I usually feel like I am making progress. Sometimes the progress is slow. Sometimes I feel like "Wait a minute -- didn't I have this same a-ha moment at least once before?" But usually even the repeat lessons feel like I did start the latest iteration at a slightly higher level than the first time. I'm not going in circles, it's a spiral path. An upward one.

So it was with a certain amount of disgust yesterday that I stared down at the list I was writing in my journal and then wrote over it The Same Damn List. Because it was.

It was my "Pentacles list" -- the list of those areas of my life most in the need of love and sacralization and disciplined attention. Most in need of an infusion of joy.

Okay, maybe I am farther along than I was before. Previously the only way I could think of these tasks and goals were as distasteful but necessary chores. Now I recognize the need for them to be infused with joy and Spirit. The need to change how I relate to them, not just what I do.

But I don't feel any closer to that condition than I was before.



You've all seen the list before: Body (fitness, health, diet), Home (cleaning, organizing, cooking), Finances (regularly checking my accounts, budgeting, saving, reducing impulse spending), and Daughter (more quality time with her).

It all lies within the element of Earth, of Pentacles.

And I can not, for the life of me, make progress in any of those areas that is meaningful, institute any changes that last more than a couple of weeks. And I don't know how to get out of that rut.

_storyteller_ made a good suggestion yesterday. If I change my browser homepage to my bank's online accounts login page, it will help me remember to check my balance consistently. So I did that this morning, and that feels like a good step.

And if anyone else has any ideas for helping me to either institute small but meaningful changes, and/or make emotional changes, I'd appreciate it.

Hurm. "Making emotional changes" makes me think about the healing ritual I did a few months ago (posted under a filter). Maybe I need to do one around this area of my life. I seem to remember thinking about that several months ago but never got around to it. I got distracted by thoughts of more rituals around my sexuality. But I'm feeling pretty good in that area right now, and my next such ritual will be with someone else, at least a month or more in the future.

So concentrating on a making-friends-with-earth ritual could be very helpful.

Comments

[queenofhalves]

it's helped me to see taking care of these things as acts of self-love and self-care.

there's nothing better than mirror work for that -- looking in the mirror daily, concentrating, and doing focused, heartfelt affirmations. that's my first thought.