Jul. 22nd, 2008

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I had a two hour phone conversation last night with my teacher about some of the things that have come up for me since my initiation and what I'm going to be focusing on next in my training.

I'll post details later, when I have more time. (I know, I'm way behind on making posts of substance, but I'm running late -- again -- this morning.)

What's on my mind at the moment is trying to get my head around how far I've come since last year. Sometimes I feel like I'm really not that much more advanced than I was before. Other times I think that it's not about what I can *do* as much as it is having spent a year committed to and steeped in a particular path. My awareness has shifted radically. (This is where you go deep, Ereshkigal told me in the vision where she claimed me last summer.)

My teacher has told me that my initiation was an equivalent to a second degree in other systems, that I've moved from being an apprentice to a journeyman. I'm "off the bunny slopes" she said. It's time for me to start building on the basic foundation I've been laying over the past year. (The last is my words, not hers.)

A big difference between now and this time last year is that last year she was giving me specific direction about what I should be doing, based on her conversations with her deities. Now, I'm consulting with Ereshkigal (and with LM) first on many topics, and then discussing it with her for clarification, refinement, and double-checking that I'm in the right ballpark. She still points me in the direction I need to go (sending me to Ereshkigal for details), has the final say in what I'm doing, based her on considerable experience and wisdom, and she does cross-checks with her own sources to confirm my perceptions, but the shift of me starting to figure out the "how" for myself is part of me moving forward on a path that leads to my taking more direct responsibility for myself, moving toward eventual independence.

Continuing to develop my personal responsibility, trust in myself, and sovereignty was a big issue in my initiation. I'll write more about that later too.
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