Plodding Through

Usually I sleep very well after an intense workout, but Thursday night was awful. I woke up again and again and again. I almost called in sick Friday morning, but half an hour snuggling with uncrowned_king gave me a feeling of peace and groundedness that enabled me to get up and get to work.

I spent the day working at about 40% of capacity. Fortunately, not much was asked of me, and I was there to help my boss handle what was an intense day for him, which was good.

I had planned to do some yoga last night, but was so exhausted from lack of sleep that I did only the bare minimum that was necessary at home and then went to bed at 9:00pm.

Fortunately, I slept much better last night, but this morning I'm facing a family funeral. The deceased is a man I knew all my life but was never close to: my father's sister's husband. Their family is very conservative, and even though we all remained on good terms, we did not have much in common, so we didn't spend any time together other than Christmas Eve and the occasional Thanksgiving.

So this morning I am going to spend two hours or so attending a traditional Christian funeral with lots of people I don't know. I don't actually begrudge the time, but at the same time I'm not looking forward to it.

I also find it sad that I don't feel anything at all about my uncle's death. He had zero significance in my life while I was growing up, and I feel neither grief nor loss now. I am sorry for the sorrow of those who loved him, of course, but it's a detached emotion. I am showing up today to play my part in the family observances, that is all. _storyteller_ has volunteered to come with me, which I appreciate.

I thought long and hard about whether to bring my daughter or not. On the one hand, I had a sense that she is old enough to participate in extended family observances, but then I realized that if this is a two-hour service it's asking a lot of her. She only met her great-uncle a couple of times in her life and doesn't even really know who we're talking about when we mention him. And she has no connection at all to the religious rituals that will be observed. It would be totally without meaning for her, and I don't her restlessness and boredom intruding on the grief of others for whom it does have meaning.

After the funeral, I am going shopping for a flat bench for weightlifting with _storyteller_ and doing more housecleaning. I should also do an easy (2-3mph) three mile walk. Given the weather, it will be another treadmill session. This weekend may also include the guys and I taking the daughter to see The Last Mimzy.

And tomorrow, I get to spend a few hours with a_belletrist_!