Saturday as a Mom

I had planned to get up and start painting trim yesterday, but instead The Child and I slept in, and then we spent almost all day together having fun doing other things: breakfast, a double-shower, went out to buy a birthday card for her friend, got a quick lunch, and then drove to the birthday party. I dropped her off at the party and had some fun by myself, came back and picked her up three hours later. We came home, I read two chapters of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone out loud, and then we went out to see "Around the World in 80 Days" (eating hot dogs at the show). (It was a cute movie, although I would recommend it as a matinee rather than a full-price show.) After the movie we walked next door to the grocery store to pick up a few essentials, then came home, read another chapter of Harry Potter together (neither of us have read any of the books before), and then I put her to bed. I stayed up and watched the last 20 minutes of Tipping the Velvet (which I've very much enjoyed!), played some on the computer, then went to bed myself. A lovely day.

It's the first time in a long time The Child and I have spent so much of a day together. She often spends a lot of weekend time playing with the great-godson living upstairs, or hanging out with her Daddy -- which is great, but we haven't had our time in a while. One of my To-Do things for today day is to find again a listing for a local guest ranch that has trail riding, so we can plan a weekend getaway for later this summer. We've wanted to do that for a while, but I haven't had the money.

Mind, Body, Mirror

I've been feeling intensely disappointed in my own appearance recently: extra weight, hair limp, no make-up. When I was young, I was always a little heavier than I should have been, had a passionate hatred of phys ed class, and had a sedentary intellectual's defensive disdain for the way other girls spent time on make-up and elaborate hair care. I washed my hair, blow-dried it, and held it back with clips or in a ponytail, and if I used make-up at all it was a quick brush of blush, a bit of lipstick and some mascara. If that. I figured it would be pointless to put effort into it, since I was never going to be the thin, lovely type for whom make-up and hair spray were designed. (This is a 12-18 year old mind here.) I've done some weight loss in my life, and the only times I ever really felt makeup and hair effort were worthwhile was when I had the kind of body I felt combined with them as a striking total effect.

But even at the times of my best physical condition, I never really came to like make-up or hair stuff. I never wanted to take the time to really learn to use it well, and so it never had the impact it could have. The perverse refusal to spend the money or the time continued to be a factor.

But the last few weeks I've been looking in the mirror and seeing that I really do need help. I'm not as young as I was, and I haven't been able to get by on the natural assets I do have (and I do have them, even with my extra weight). Then there's the goddaughter upstairs, who is a tall, big-boned girl with some extra weight as well -- and she loves make-up and glam and shows me how much Attitude goes toward making someone attractive. G'daughter thinks of herself as sexy and beautiful -- and damn if she doesn't make me think so too! A powerful lesson.

So while The Child was at the birthday party yesterday, I went to the make-up department at the Bon and found a lovely young woman who spent about half an hour with me working on a makeup routine I would be willing to do, and she took the time to coach me on doing the application myself before I left the counter (something I haven't done before). And I'm pleased with the results. Then I had my eyebrows waxed (which I do regularly), and I'm going to schedule a permanent for after I get my new paycheck. And I start at the gym on Tuesday evening.

The biggest element to all this, I've come to realize, is attitude. I've been depressed with my appearance and so let it get worse instead of working to use what I've got. I don't want to become obsessed with appearance, but I do want to feel good when I look in the mirror. There's a healthy balance in this area that I've struck only a few times in my life.

I've been thinking about Inanna energy, which is something I think the G'daughter has: she does what she can to feel beautiful in her own skin, on her own terms, and her boyfriend can appreciate it or he can take a hike. She accentuates her positive and if she worries about the rest, she deals with it in private. While I feel bad showing the extra flesh on my upper arms, she's wearing tops that show twice as much skin and accentuate her bustline. And there's nothing reticent or shamed in the energy she radiates. Her style isn't mine, but - again - her energy is something I'm working on cultivating: being comfortable in my skin, proud of what I've got, and exuberant in celebrating my own real beauty, which is as much internal as it is external.

7 Things Meme

I haven't done a list meme before, but after reading toesontheground's responses to this one, and finding out a few things that were complete surprises to me, I wanted to try it myself.

( 7 Things That Scare Me )

( 7 Things I Love )

( 7 Things I Severely Dislike )

( 7 Things In My (Living)Room )

( 7 Random Facts About Me )

( 7 Things I Plan to Do Before I Die )

( 7 Things I Can Do )

( 7 Things I Can't Do )