Dad Likes It

Yesterday afternoon I emailed a copy of my papers on "Being Human" and "Sin" to my father. He called me last night to tell me how impressed - and moved - he was by them.

This is of note because although for most of my life I have been "Daddy's Girl," I've been feeling like he's withdrawn from me a bit since I started attending seminary. He left the ministry before I was born, and tends to define himself as a reverent agnostic. He attends church with my mother, but I strongly suspect he finds communion with God far more often in nature. Which is fine -- but it perhaps has been putting up a barrier between us as he contemplates me going into ministry. I don't think he "disapproves," but I don't think he's entirely comfortable with it either.

The fact that I'm embarking on generating a whole new burden of school loans doesn't help (although all my previous education has been paid off).

So to have him call me and respond so positively to my work was very important to me.

One day, he and I will have to talk about these issues -- but the right moment hasn't yet come.

Ring Envy

I've been scanning the news coverage of the "Return of the King" premiere in New Zealand, and it's propelled me once again into intense jealousy of the entire LOTR company: actors, crew members, writers, and especially director Peter Jackson. I love movies. Since childhood, I've dreamed of taking part in film production. I know it's not glamourous, but the collaborative and complex creative process fascinates me.* It's always been a siren song that I never dared to follow. But no motion picture, not even the original Star Wars movies, has ever afflicted me with an envy so intense that it becomes a physical sensation - until I saw "The Fellowship of the Ring."

It's a combination of the grandeur of the story, the talent and appeal of the actors, and the sheer immensity and integrity of the production. Jackson's achievement is unparalleled, and I feel a completely non-rational but real ache at not having been able to participate in the saga that went on behind the screen.


* I've enjoyed my work as a theatrical director and stage manager, but have only video production to my credit.