Encounter with Tiwaz
Nov. 10th, 2009 08:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI just had the most amazing encounter with Tiwaz.
I was doing my weekly ritual in his honor, but instead of a very formal exchange he was warm and affectionate.
Evidently I've passed some kind of test -- not a formal test, but more a proving of myself in his eyes over time through the way I've grown and handled certain challenges recently. I'm growing as a warrior -- not a warrior who fights others, but as one who conquers inner foes through discipline, courage, awareness of consequences to/for others, and a bloody-minded refusal to give up. (He is a patron of conventional warriors as well, but that is not my path.)
Now, instead of a relationship where I honored him and he accorded courtesy and protection to me because of our mutual relationships with LM, we're building a direct relationship.
This is the first time in a very long time that I've had a connection to a father-god. (I know that's not part of his classic attributes, but that's the energy he offered me, and part of what he shares with LM.) I hadn't consciously been missing it, but it felt very, very good to experience it again. It felt very good to experience a warm, supportive, non-romantic, non-erotic embrace.
And I found out what a powerful experience it is to have a god name me as a priestess, wife, and mother. When he named me thus, there were resonances to those titles that went far deeper than they have in my previous experience.
It was a truly lovely experience in so many ways.
I was doing my weekly ritual in his honor, but instead of a very formal exchange he was warm and affectionate.
Evidently I've passed some kind of test -- not a formal test, but more a proving of myself in his eyes over time through the way I've grown and handled certain challenges recently. I'm growing as a warrior -- not a warrior who fights others, but as one who conquers inner foes through discipline, courage, awareness of consequences to/for others, and a bloody-minded refusal to give up. (He is a patron of conventional warriors as well, but that is not my path.)
Now, instead of a relationship where I honored him and he accorded courtesy and protection to me because of our mutual relationships with LM, we're building a direct relationship.
This is the first time in a very long time that I've had a connection to a father-god. (I know that's not part of his classic attributes, but that's the energy he offered me, and part of what he shares with LM.) I hadn't consciously been missing it, but it felt very, very good to experience it again. It felt very good to experience a warm, supportive, non-romantic, non-erotic embrace.
And I found out what a powerful experience it is to have a god name me as a priestess, wife, and mother. When he named me thus, there were resonances to those titles that went far deeper than they have in my previous experience.
It was a truly lovely experience in so many ways.
