Vigil

[qos]

At some point in the next couple of hours, I'm going put on soft, comfortable dark clothes, go out on my third-floor balcony, light some black candles in glass holders, and then light some charcoal in my grill, with various resins on hand for adding later.

And then I'm going to stay out there all night -- or until I find what I'm supposed to find, whichever comes first.

I don't know what I'm looking for beyond general terms: my own depths, lost things, new insights, Ereshkigal, the stars. . .

I'm scared.

I don't like ambiguity. I don't like open-ended ritual. I don't like the idea of being outside and trying to stay awake all night. I'm afraid of my own limitations. I guess part of what this is about is challenging those limitations, on all kinds of levels, including those I'm not even aware of.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to take a ritual bath of purification and re-birth, and then do a rededication ritual with LM. There will be white roses, holy water. . . and fresh biscuits with honey.

Tomorrow is going to be some kind of new beginning, one I won't fully understand until I'm there.

Your prayers would be appreciated.

Comments

[wyldlingspirit.livejournal.com]

You know you have mine.

One tip: For summer rituals outside, you'll need bug spray! Really! The mosquitoes could easily drive you inside before you find what you're looking for.

[erl-queen.livejournal.com]

I will keep you in my prayers as I do my own ritual work tonight.

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

This sounds like just the sort of ritual you need now. May you be blessedly free of expectations and open to whatever arises, no matter how subtle.

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

May it be a blessed time.

[passionandsoul.livejournal.com]

It's not open ended. There is dawn :)
Blessings to you, bright and shadowed.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

the Hestia in me wants to say, you already know what home is. Perhaps part of what you need is to know EXACTLY what are the parameters of home.

I'm settling into my new place, first night in the new house, and I'll light a candle over dinner with the spouse and send "finding" thoughts/prayers in your direction.

Been a long time since my last ritual "up all night" and I've never done it solo: may you journey well and fruitfully.

blessed be

[purplevenus.livejournal.com]

the path ahead, and your feet and heart that walk upon it

[watcher457.livejournal.com]

You have our thoughts with you. I hope you don't mind, but I asked Him to keep an eye on you. I know you are well protected, but you can never have too much. May you find your way over the twisting path before you, my friend.

[morgwensraven.livejournal.com]

Always Wingsib.. *grins*

[makhsihed.livejournal.com]

My thoughts are with you too. Asking Wepwawet to help out a bit. I don't know how that'll work, cross-pantheon and all, but. :) Prayers.

[queenofhalves]

thinking of you.