A Surprising Moment
Aug. 19th, 2009 08:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosTiwaz and I don't have a particularly close relationship. I honor him as LM's patron and as our household protector. He is a primary motivator behind my efforts to do spiritual direction with veterans. But our interactions tend to be relatively brief and formal.
Yesterday was tough on all kinds of levels. I've been twitchy and "off" for the past two or three days. I've been waking up fuzzy-headed, feeling as if I'd been drinking the night before, even though I hadn't, and that feeling stays with me. My energy feels spiky and as if someone is petting my fur the wrong way. I feel lonely but grateful to be alone in the house right now.
My weekly ritual with Tiwaz is supposed to take place at 8pm on Tuesday nights, and it's been made clear to me that it's a matter of respect for me to be prompt and not put it off. It's okay if I have activities outside the house at that time, but it's understood that I will complete the ritual as soon as I get home and center.
Last night I was late. Very, very late. Yes, I'd been out at 8pm, but it was two hours or more after I got home before I made my way to the altar. To my surprise, the god did not seem upset with me. (He has in the past when I've been seriously tardy for no good reason.) Instead, he wordlessly reached out and rested his hand on my head. The mental imagery was clear, but there were no words that I could discern, nor any particular emotion. He seemed peaceful, caring, serious.
It did help me feel more at peace.
Maybe there was no deeper intention behind it than that.
Yesterday was tough on all kinds of levels. I've been twitchy and "off" for the past two or three days. I've been waking up fuzzy-headed, feeling as if I'd been drinking the night before, even though I hadn't, and that feeling stays with me. My energy feels spiky and as if someone is petting my fur the wrong way. I feel lonely but grateful to be alone in the house right now.
My weekly ritual with Tiwaz is supposed to take place at 8pm on Tuesday nights, and it's been made clear to me that it's a matter of respect for me to be prompt and not put it off. It's okay if I have activities outside the house at that time, but it's understood that I will complete the ritual as soon as I get home and center.
Last night I was late. Very, very late. Yes, I'd been out at 8pm, but it was two hours or more after I got home before I made my way to the altar. To my surprise, the god did not seem upset with me. (He has in the past when I've been seriously tardy for no good reason.) Instead, he wordlessly reached out and rested his hand on my head. The mental imagery was clear, but there were no words that I could discern, nor any particular emotion. He seemed peaceful, caring, serious.
It did help me feel more at peace.
Maybe there was no deeper intention behind it than that.
