Down the Other Side
Mar. 12th, 2009 06:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosYesterday was the first day for me to have "normal" energy since my ordination on February 14th, when I received a direct download of energy from Ereshkigal and Inanna. That's definitely the longest "high" I've ever experienced. During the last few weeks I've felt like a rock star: energy pumping all the time -- especially erotic energy, and feeling people responding to me in new and more intense ways, knowing my life was feeling different because I was having a steady stream of "drugs" pumping through my system all the time.
During this time I tried very hard to do good discernment, to know when to try to be careful and set good boundaries and keep expectations aligned and realistic -- but also to deeply engage this gift and explore it, but it was tough because this experience was entirely unprecedented for me.
The energy finally ebbed away yesterday, leaving me -- and a couple of folks who had been touched by these energies -- in an awkward place. Those relationships are slowly being recalibrated, but it's been more hurtful for others than I would have wanted. And I have to figure out what I want as well.
Boundary issues are coming up for me all over the place. My teacher pointed out that as I change and my work changes the kinds of boundaries I need to set will also change. I hadn't thought of that. (Hooray for teachers!)
Yesterday I was feeling okay except for the stress of the relationship transitions. Today I'm feeling the energy change. I'm very tired and feeling a bit numb. Which is okay; that's a normal after-effect for a high. But it's going to make it a bit more challenging to engage the way I need to.
During this time I tried very hard to do good discernment, to know when to try to be careful and set good boundaries and keep expectations aligned and realistic -- but also to deeply engage this gift and explore it, but it was tough because this experience was entirely unprecedented for me.
The energy finally ebbed away yesterday, leaving me -- and a couple of folks who had been touched by these energies -- in an awkward place. Those relationships are slowly being recalibrated, but it's been more hurtful for others than I would have wanted. And I have to figure out what I want as well.
Boundary issues are coming up for me all over the place. My teacher pointed out that as I change and my work changes the kinds of boundaries I need to set will also change. I hadn't thought of that. (Hooray for teachers!)
Yesterday I was feeling okay except for the stress of the relationship transitions. Today I'm feeling the energy change. I'm very tired and feeling a bit numb. Which is okay; that's a normal after-effect for a high. But it's going to make it a bit more challenging to engage the way I need to.
