Trying to Keep My Head from Exploding
Mar. 4th, 2009 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosThe last few days have been extrordinarily intense. For not having felt like much during the ritual itself, the ordination energy continues to whirl around in my life, triggering transformation and raising issues and questions for me to grapple with.
How do I deal with boundaries?
Do I even think about them until a line was crossed that I never realized was there? And what do I do then?
What do I expect from sharing certain things -- and how do I handle it when my expectations don't match those of others?
How I do deal with having power?
What about receiving adoration?
I'm much improved in my daily practices, but do I remember the other stuff when it counts -- like the proper way to respond to two nights in a row of impending-violent-death nightmares?
How do I feel about things, and what do I do when they're taken from me?
Can I actually release when I need to?
If part of my priestessing is going to take place through words on a screen, how do I maintain connection to what's happening between myself and the other person as ordinary life intervenes?
How do I stay on my contacts?
And. . . there's the 'small matter' of the piercing Ereshkigal wants me to get to ground and mark my allegiance to her and to LM.
At the moment, all the questions can wait. I need to take a couple of hygiene-protection steps my teacher suggested, and then I'm collapsing into bed.
How do I deal with boundaries?
Do I even think about them until a line was crossed that I never realized was there? And what do I do then?
What do I expect from sharing certain things -- and how do I handle it when my expectations don't match those of others?
How I do deal with having power?
What about receiving adoration?
I'm much improved in my daily practices, but do I remember the other stuff when it counts -- like the proper way to respond to two nights in a row of impending-violent-death nightmares?
How do I feel about things, and what do I do when they're taken from me?
Can I actually release when I need to?
If part of my priestessing is going to take place through words on a screen, how do I maintain connection to what's happening between myself and the other person as ordinary life intervenes?
How do I stay on my contacts?
And. . . there's the 'small matter' of the piercing Ereshkigal wants me to get to ground and mark my allegiance to her and to LM.
At the moment, all the questions can wait. I need to take a couple of hygiene-protection steps my teacher suggested, and then I'm collapsing into bed.
