Spirit and Body

[qos]

A recurring theme in my primary journal over the past few years has been my struggle to do better with the "pentacles" aspects of my life: nutrition and exercise, domestic stuff, my job, my vocation, finances. All my life, I've lived as much in my head as possible -- with sexuality being the one great exception.

My spirituality has followed this pattern, being primarily intellectual and mystical. I had a fraught relationship with ritual, felt no need to work with the traditional magic tools, and didn't have the love affair with nature that most Pagans seem to have. Again, sexuality was the exception here, and for years I longed for a partner with whom I could authentically blend sex and spirit.

Shortly after The Biopsy Crisis I started seeing a therapist to help me work through the stuck places that were at the root of my pain. This week, we spent a lot of time on my physical issues, and I told her that while intellectually I know and understand the connection between body-mind-spirit, and I'm aware of the importance of physical disciplines to a range of spiritual paths, and I know that any kind of body movement can have a sacred element, I have almost never been able to experience my own physicality as part of my spirituality -- again, with the exception sex.

I also had to explain that for most of my life I've ignored my body as much as possible. This seemed to boggle her a bit, but she's a fitness trainer as well as a counselor, so I suspect that all these things that are so challenging for me are natural to her.

She got out my intake questionnaire and scanned it, looking for help. There wasn't much. None of the 10 things I listed as the most important things in my life could be directly connected to physical health, nutrition, and/or fitness. There are no activities involving movement that particularly appeal to me. None of her usual angles of motivation helped. I recognized each one, acknowledged it, and pretty much said "I know. But that doesn't mean much to me." There's no "juice" there.

The only thing that comes close is this thought from a few weeks ago: Whatever the reason might have been, I am living an incarnated life. I have a body. I would be short-changing myself in the experience of this life if I ignore or neglect the vehicle of my incarnation.

But even that isn't particularly motivating for me.

So I'm doing some pondering around how I can connect spirit and flesh in my daily life and find types of movement that I actively enjoy. Yoga and belly dance seem the best bets. . . but it still takes an effort of will to actually do them.

There are just so many more engaging and important things to do. . .

And yes, I know that my physical health and fitness are important. But in the limited time of a day, it seems like so many other things are more immediately and urgently important. That's the problem in a nutshell.

Comments

[sharpchick.livejournal.com]

If that's you in the icon on the post, you're doing better than you think.

I'd say you're in pretty good shape.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately that's not me.
I'm about 75 pounds overweight.

[rainstardragon.livejournal.com]

I'm actually a bit underweight, but I completely understand where you are coming from regarding the body. I do Tai Chi, not as regularly as I should, and Chi Kung... again, not as regularly as I should. Head stuff or the kids (not having them around for so long is strange for me) takes up a lot of time. I used to ski when younger very avidly, but now that I'm older it's hard to make the time (which is really weird, considering how full my plate was as a kid timewise).

I have no advice I can offer, but I can let you know you aren't the only one that doesn't have much motivation to exercise... Dance is good, I often forget I'm exercising if I put on some good music and just let it take me.

[tinuviel13.livejournal.com]

There is a DVD that I use every day. It is by Living Arts and is called AM/PM Yoga. I do not do the PM practice but the AM practice is now part of my life. I have been doing it for over a year now and am extremely pleased with the results. The best part is, it only takes 17 minutes out of my morning. I feel better, look better, carry myself better and miss the practice if I don't do it (which is rare indeed). I hope you find something equally simple and useful to your needs.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Megan Garcia has a great DVD called Mega Yoga that I've enjoyed working with in the mornings. It's something I'd like to get started with again.

[bettywithin.livejournal.com]

Wow, I just... yeah, I agree with the entire post. That perfectly sums up my (non-)relationship with my body as well. You have a real knack for vocalizing stuff I've only managed to think about.

[erl-queen.livejournal.com]

What about this... that since you are incarnated, and since there IS a mind-body-spirit connection, the physical stuff is pretty much *required* for you to get the most out of the spiritual stuff. In other words, even if you don't want to do the physical stuff for its own sake, perhaps you might want to do it to further the stuff you *do* care about deeply?

That's often how I approach it.

[queenofhalves]

i never loved physical activity other than sex until i started doing partner dance and massage. connecting with people motivates me more than anything else!

maybe you could find some similar connection?