Isis & The Gate of Lightning
Jun. 12th, 2008 04:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosIt's been quite a while since I've had a spontaneous inner journey, but two nights ago I had an extremely vivid experience.
It started when my attention was caught by the Isis candle holder that sits on my marriage altar. I seldom light those candles anymore, and when I do it's usually in the context of work with LM -- but she was definitely calling to me, so I lit those candles, then lit the other ones as well: candles for Ereshkigal, Freyja and others.
There were now three candles burning on the marriage altar: two with Isis, one with Freyja, and for a while I just looked at the altar, absorbing the light, the significance of the various objects, the energy. . . and suddenly I found myself on my knees thanking the gods for the blessing of LM and his love for me, for our relationship, and for me starting to become all I've yearned to be.
I'd had just a touch too much alcohol earlier, so I wasn't sure how well my hermetic practices were going to go -- but I did know that skipping them wasn't an option. To my surprise, by the time I finished my head felt much more clear. (I wouldn't have tested my sobriety by driving, but I definitely felt more awake and focused.)
All day I'd felt pulled toward the inner -- which had been especially frustrating at work. Now, I moved all the candles to the nonflammable marble surface of the marriage altar, asked my daughter to come in and blow the candles out at bedtime if I fell asleep, and then settled down on the bed to find out who wanted to talk to me, and what about.
As soon as I closed my eyes, LM was there with me, and it was as if he was tucking me in to a hammock bed, making sure I was relaxed and comfortable. He wasn't going to be part of the journey to come, but he wanted me to know that he was there and protecting me.
Then Isis was there -- something which hasn't happened in months. I barely had time to absorb her presence before I was hurtled through space to a large stone gate.
At the beginning of my work on this path, I had been instructed by Isis and my other patrons to seek out a particular gate. This might have been that gate, or it could have been a similar one. It bothered me that I couldn't figure out which -- to the point that my frustration almost knocked me out of the journey. Isis told me that it didn't matter, and I should focus on the present.
The only thing visible through the gate was darkness and lightning: beautiful but formidable. I remembered my teacher telling me never to simply enter a gate, to always be reasonably sure first what was on the other side -- or to be told by someone I trusted that it was safe for me to cross. I reflected, realized that I felt no warning or inhibition within me, and none of my allies seemed concerned at the prospect of my crossing -- so I did, almost without thought.
I found myself in a dark, sparse landscape. There were maybe a few small, twisted trees around, but the ground was bare. Lightning was everywhere above me, and my first thought was to seek shelter. I thought of creating a tower, but immediately realized that wasn't the right choice. It also didn't feel right to seek shelter in the landscape around me. In fact, there only seemed to be one right choice: seek out the lightning.
I rose into the air, spinning slowly as I did. There was wind as well as lighting around me, and it was a glorious sensation to be in the midst of it. I was reminded of an impression I had during a long-ago regression that I had become in some way a "spirit of air" after a violent death. I felt some of the same sensations in this journey that I did then.
And then the lightning began to strike me, empowering me, filling me with energy. I could feel my physical body tingling too.
Then Isis asked me what I was going to do with all this crackling power -- and I realized that very few situations call for hurling lighting around. Most of the time electricity is most useful when it's a measured current flowing along a specific path. The comparison to my daily hermetic practices was obvious -- but I was also shown myself meeting with clients, people who didn't need to be blasted by "lightning" but met with a different kind of energy. There are time for blasts of lightning, but I am not to scorn the smaller, gentler uses of power.
(Somewhere in the background, a goddess or ally -- Freyja, perhaps? -- smiled slyly and suggested that LM might enjoy playing with the lighting.)
I was still crackling with energy and felt myself sinking down into and through the earth, into the Otherworld, where I shared my excess energy with some of the dwellers there (in accord with Orion Foxwood's teachings about the importance of sharing energy back and forth with faery).
Then Ereshkigal joined me. This is the first time I've encountered Her on a journey outside of Her throne room or her "office." She was dressed in a more elegant style than her usual robes, and she and the fae greeted each other respectfully. She took me for a walk and spoke to me at length, but I was starting to lose parts of myself to dream -- something I was aware of off and on as She spoke with me. I was frustrated by my inability to retain Her words, but She didn't seem bothered.
Suddenly my body felt more solid and my awareness shifted decisively but smoothly out of trance and back to normal awareness.
I still can't remember what Ereshkigal said to me, but my teacher assures me that some part of me did hear and remember, and the knowledge will be there when I need it.
It started when my attention was caught by the Isis candle holder that sits on my marriage altar. I seldom light those candles anymore, and when I do it's usually in the context of work with LM -- but she was definitely calling to me, so I lit those candles, then lit the other ones as well: candles for Ereshkigal, Freyja and others.
There were now three candles burning on the marriage altar: two with Isis, one with Freyja, and for a while I just looked at the altar, absorbing the light, the significance of the various objects, the energy. . . and suddenly I found myself on my knees thanking the gods for the blessing of LM and his love for me, for our relationship, and for me starting to become all I've yearned to be.
I'd had just a touch too much alcohol earlier, so I wasn't sure how well my hermetic practices were going to go -- but I did know that skipping them wasn't an option. To my surprise, by the time I finished my head felt much more clear. (I wouldn't have tested my sobriety by driving, but I definitely felt more awake and focused.)
All day I'd felt pulled toward the inner -- which had been especially frustrating at work. Now, I moved all the candles to the nonflammable marble surface of the marriage altar, asked my daughter to come in and blow the candles out at bedtime if I fell asleep, and then settled down on the bed to find out who wanted to talk to me, and what about.
As soon as I closed my eyes, LM was there with me, and it was as if he was tucking me in to a hammock bed, making sure I was relaxed and comfortable. He wasn't going to be part of the journey to come, but he wanted me to know that he was there and protecting me.
Then Isis was there -- something which hasn't happened in months. I barely had time to absorb her presence before I was hurtled through space to a large stone gate.
At the beginning of my work on this path, I had been instructed by Isis and my other patrons to seek out a particular gate. This might have been that gate, or it could have been a similar one. It bothered me that I couldn't figure out which -- to the point that my frustration almost knocked me out of the journey. Isis told me that it didn't matter, and I should focus on the present.
The only thing visible through the gate was darkness and lightning: beautiful but formidable. I remembered my teacher telling me never to simply enter a gate, to always be reasonably sure first what was on the other side -- or to be told by someone I trusted that it was safe for me to cross. I reflected, realized that I felt no warning or inhibition within me, and none of my allies seemed concerned at the prospect of my crossing -- so I did, almost without thought.
I found myself in a dark, sparse landscape. There were maybe a few small, twisted trees around, but the ground was bare. Lightning was everywhere above me, and my first thought was to seek shelter. I thought of creating a tower, but immediately realized that wasn't the right choice. It also didn't feel right to seek shelter in the landscape around me. In fact, there only seemed to be one right choice: seek out the lightning.
I rose into the air, spinning slowly as I did. There was wind as well as lighting around me, and it was a glorious sensation to be in the midst of it. I was reminded of an impression I had during a long-ago regression that I had become in some way a "spirit of air" after a violent death. I felt some of the same sensations in this journey that I did then.
And then the lightning began to strike me, empowering me, filling me with energy. I could feel my physical body tingling too.
Then Isis asked me what I was going to do with all this crackling power -- and I realized that very few situations call for hurling lighting around. Most of the time electricity is most useful when it's a measured current flowing along a specific path. The comparison to my daily hermetic practices was obvious -- but I was also shown myself meeting with clients, people who didn't need to be blasted by "lightning" but met with a different kind of energy. There are time for blasts of lightning, but I am not to scorn the smaller, gentler uses of power.
(Somewhere in the background, a goddess or ally -- Freyja, perhaps? -- smiled slyly and suggested that LM might enjoy playing with the lighting.)
I was still crackling with energy and felt myself sinking down into and through the earth, into the Otherworld, where I shared my excess energy with some of the dwellers there (in accord with Orion Foxwood's teachings about the importance of sharing energy back and forth with faery).
Then Ereshkigal joined me. This is the first time I've encountered Her on a journey outside of Her throne room or her "office." She was dressed in a more elegant style than her usual robes, and she and the fae greeted each other respectfully. She took me for a walk and spoke to me at length, but I was starting to lose parts of myself to dream -- something I was aware of off and on as She spoke with me. I was frustrated by my inability to retain Her words, but She didn't seem bothered.
Suddenly my body felt more solid and my awareness shifted decisively but smoothly out of trance and back to normal awareness.
I still can't remember what Ereshkigal said to me, but my teacher assures me that some part of me did hear and remember, and the knowledge will be there when I need it.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-12 11:48 pm (UTC)I had a moment Monday? eve as I dropped off to sleep... I was sad & lonely, & in that half waking/half sleeping state, Someone visited briefly, sat on the bed, and stroked my hair till I relaxed. Not wholly certain Who it was, but by some indications a woodland deity, possibly even Dionysos...
Thank you... I'd forgotten that moment.
And thank you for continuing to share your journeys.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-13 08:57 pm (UTC)What about using it in small doses to help knock blockages loose? I have a problem with effecting electricals around me still, so I probably should make use of it a little more to knock that problem down again. And gentle use while touching should bring a pleasant feeling, sort of like that little tingle when the lightning's in the clouds but one's sitting out on the porch smelling the rain and watching the play.
You know, the other day when my daughter and I were playing with the Goddess Oracle, I thought of you when Isis made her way into my hand.
Also, read your other post. Good luck with your initiation. You definitely earned the ceremony, and I hope you open up many more of the mysteries.