Morning Chat with Ereshkigal

[qos]

I've been feeling more than a little overwhelmed by the rich diversity of my path these past few weeks -- especially since Pantheacon opened up some doors a bit wider than they had been before. Fortunately last Saturday I was able to have a long phone conversation with my teacher, and in response to my request she consulted with the inner and helped me set some priorities for my daily work. It helped a great deal.

One of the consequences of that conversation was the deepest morning meditation I've had in a while, and an appearance by Ereshkigal. Preparing for P-con had me in something of an internal flutter, so I hadn't been keeping in touch. Afterward, She let me know she was pleased with me, but didn't push. It was good to have the solid contact with her again.

Inspired by a couple of things I'd read in Written in Wine, I asked Her what kind of offering/worship she would like from me beyond the nightly candle lighting and prayer.

First of all, She wants me to write Her book (and I'm happy to say that I've actually started on some of the formal research).

Beyond that, She wants me to push myself. She is the Ordeal Mistress, and She wants me to dare the hard places, go out on the edge. Not all the time, but more often than I do.

She would like me to do some full-body ordeal rituals, both as the subject and as the priestess. We talked about doing a Descent, and I started thinking about what I would want to symbolically strip and leave beyond at the gates. The first thing that came to mind was my day job -- but I immediately backed off from that, because it seemed like a good way to lose my job for real. I told Ereshkigal, "I don't trust you to make sure I stay employed" [if I gave up my job in this context.]

She smiled enigmatically, waiting for me to work out the rest for myself.

Loss of a job, loss of possessions, would be a huge "descent." She would help me navigate it, but she has no need or interest in preventing it. Quite the contrary. Then She pointed out that if I lost my day job it would up the urgency on my work to expand my vocational work. I agreed. Her smile got more ferocious. "Then perhaps you should pursue it with the same urgency as if you had lost your job." It was not a threat, but it was a very pointed suggestion.

We also talked about Dionysus a bit. Ereshkigal pointed out that he bridges light and dark, upper and under worlds. Also, I need his ecstasy and his wildness. I need Dionysus to help me stay feral.

Comments

[oakmouse]

You know... the more I think about that pointed suggestion, the more I think that you really, really REALLY had better listen to it. It gives me That Sort Of Feeling. (As in: listen or you'll amply regret not doing so.)

Sorry, I know that's probably a demoralizing thing to say, but there it is.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Not demoralizing at all!
I've known for a long time I need to make a change. Getting it straight from Herself, in those terms, is an excellent motivator!

[oakmouse]

*g* Good attitude.

[dragonscholar.livejournal.com]

Sounds interesting. Some thoughts:

I'd definitely reccomend reading any of Pema Chorodon's work. From a Buddist perspective, she deals with fear and loss in very informative ways. (This is a woman who can discuss when HOPE can be a pathology, or how to use pain to learn).

With impermanence, ALL is lost eventually. It's instructive to remember that.

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

This is My UPG, but...

Ms. E. and Melek Taus get on -very- well. One might say they've got that Special Friend thing happening. One might know that they do.

And Melek and Mr. D. get on well enough. I'd not be surprised if there are More Connections, but it hasn't been given to me to see that yet.

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

You wrote:

She is the Ordeal Mistress, and She wants me to dare the hard places, go out on the edge. Not all the time, but more often than I do.

Interesting. I met her in a different context. She was the Queen of the Breakdown Palace, the place where everything goes to rot and be remade. She was slow and she had a heartbeat that was so big I couldn't find the edges of it.

I met someone who sat at the core of the earth and watched it all rot and melt and change. And she told me she wanted me to rot and melt and change for her, so I built her a compost bin.

It's interesting to learn more about other aspects from other people. Best of luck with the journey.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

She is definitely about change in the deep places. I suspect that whether she calls someone to "rot and melt" or invites them to enter the crucible depends on what that person needs.

Thanks for the insights. Would you be willing to discuss your contact with Herself further at a later time? I'd like my book to reflect more than my own experiences.

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

I'd be delighted!

She is not the one I belong to, but we do work. And for what she does, she's the best there is. And yes, anytime I'd be glad to share that with ya!

Queen of the Breakdown Place

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Hi --

I'm trying to inspire a few more folks to submit pieces for me Ereshkigal devotional, and I had your comment flagged to come back to.

Is this something you'd be interested in/ willing to elaborate on? It's a perspective I've seen from others, but not one which I've experienced myself, and I would love to have it expressed in the collection.

Please consider it!

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

I'm honored that you're interested!

Actually, teriel has expressed strong interest on behalf of Immanion Press, but I'm a long way from making any kind of decision. I need to have much more of a manuscript in hand before I begin to think about publication.

When I'm ready to take that step, I'll let you know.