It Hurt to Go Back
Feb. 19th, 2008 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI was totally unprepared for the emotional response I had this morning when I picked up my purse and my keys to go to work: I started crying.
After spending three days among members of my own tribe, able to speak out in a room full of strangers about topics I can scarcely mention most of the time and be warmly received, it hurt to head off to the day job with its relentless mundanity, the stress all around me, and my unpleasant colleague.
Not so long ago I would have forced the tears down and denied the pain. This morning I gave myself permission to mourn the ending of a wonderful time, to affirm that no one can take the weekend away from me. It happened. It was real. It was wonderful. I had a triumph. Nothing that happened today could change that.
I have a new list of Things To Do to start finding income outside of the day job: ways to promote my spiritual direction practice and find new clients, ways to market/promote myself as a workshop presenter/teacher about sacred sex and other speciality topics, contacts for local venues for tarot readings, and what I need to do to get started on the book(s) I now need to write.
After spending three days among members of my own tribe, able to speak out in a room full of strangers about topics I can scarcely mention most of the time and be warmly received, it hurt to head off to the day job with its relentless mundanity, the stress all around me, and my unpleasant colleague.
Not so long ago I would have forced the tears down and denied the pain. This morning I gave myself permission to mourn the ending of a wonderful time, to affirm that no one can take the weekend away from me. It happened. It was real. It was wonderful. I had a triumph. Nothing that happened today could change that.
I have a new list of Things To Do to start finding income outside of the day job: ways to promote my spiritual direction practice and find new clients, ways to market/promote myself as a workshop presenter/teacher about sacred sex and other speciality topics, contacts for local venues for tarot readings, and what I need to do to get started on the book(s) I now need to write.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-21 01:55 am (UTC)In the meantime, I guess we both keep moving one step at a time toward that day.