It Hurt to Go Back
Feb. 19th, 2008 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI was totally unprepared for the emotional response I had this morning when I picked up my purse and my keys to go to work: I started crying.
After spending three days among members of my own tribe, able to speak out in a room full of strangers about topics I can scarcely mention most of the time and be warmly received, it hurt to head off to the day job with its relentless mundanity, the stress all around me, and my unpleasant colleague.
Not so long ago I would have forced the tears down and denied the pain. This morning I gave myself permission to mourn the ending of a wonderful time, to affirm that no one can take the weekend away from me. It happened. It was real. It was wonderful. I had a triumph. Nothing that happened today could change that.
I have a new list of Things To Do to start finding income outside of the day job: ways to promote my spiritual direction practice and find new clients, ways to market/promote myself as a workshop presenter/teacher about sacred sex and other speciality topics, contacts for local venues for tarot readings, and what I need to do to get started on the book(s) I now need to write.
After spending three days among members of my own tribe, able to speak out in a room full of strangers about topics I can scarcely mention most of the time and be warmly received, it hurt to head off to the day job with its relentless mundanity, the stress all around me, and my unpleasant colleague.
Not so long ago I would have forced the tears down and denied the pain. This morning I gave myself permission to mourn the ending of a wonderful time, to affirm that no one can take the weekend away from me. It happened. It was real. It was wonderful. I had a triumph. Nothing that happened today could change that.
I have a new list of Things To Do to start finding income outside of the day job: ways to promote my spiritual direction practice and find new clients, ways to market/promote myself as a workshop presenter/teacher about sacred sex and other speciality topics, contacts for local venues for tarot readings, and what I need to do to get started on the book(s) I now need to write.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 01:02 pm (UTC)You would be REALLY good as a writer and teacher on this subject.
Honestly, I'm really interested in picking your brain for inspiration about the work House Rosa is doing.
And I rejoice with you, for your ability to accept and embrace the pain. You were right: the normalizing is crucial in these things. Just before your class, my poly family had a meltdown, and we were all there at your workshop. Your class helped us sort ourselves out, and we're doing great now.
You are teh roxors, don't forget that! Even if the atmosphere has changed, you have it with you. You were fantastic then, and you are now that same sparkling gem you were during the workshop.
Thank you for being awesome. *smiles*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 07:21 pm (UTC)...It's always so weird when my friends list overlaps unexpectedly! And nifty, too.