Mother Isis

[qos]

My priestess training is being conducted under the patronage of three goddesses: Isis, Inanna and Arianrhod. (One of my teacher's patrons is also supervising things closely, but she doesn't seem to have adopted me as her own.) Although I've felt a connection to Inanna for a long time, due to my strong resonance with two of her primary traditions (The Descent and the Sacred Marriage), the other two I'd known only from their myths. I have never had with any of them the kind of intimate friendship I once enjoyed with Yeshua, the Christ. (He and I are still on very good terms, but that's another entry.)

I was talking with oakmouse yesterday about how lonely it's been without having that kind of relationship with the Divine, and so last night I decided to use my meditation time to connect with one of my goddess patrons. The original plan had been to work on the "center/safe place" exercise, but I've been feeling so depleted I just didn't think I had the personal energy to find a safe space inside myself. Reaching out to the Divine, in the form of one or more of "my" goddesses seemed a necessary step to replenish myself before I tried to find the strong/safe core in myself.

I don't think I called out to anyone in particular. I centered, did my focused breathing (four-two-four-two count), and then greeted them all and expressed a desire to know them better. It was Isis who came to me: regal and serene in her white robe and elaborate crown, but with a mother's tenderness. Too much time has elapsed since the encounter for me to remember much of what she said, but the words were less important than the feeling I had of being cherished and protected.

There were some fleeting images of marble halls and golden fixtures, perhaps palaces of ancient Egypt, perhaps just free association in response to her energy. I asked her if I had known her before, worked with her in other lifetimes. She didn't answer. Either it's not yet time for me to know certain things or my connection to her is not yet developed enough for detailed communication.

Then she reminded me gently that she too knew what it was like to have a husband die and to be separated from him, and I felt her deep empathy with my grief and loneliness.

It was a very tender encounter, and I felt encouraged that one day I will again be able to partake in easy familiarity and friendship with the Divine.

Comments

[oakmouse]

Excellent! You got through in a big way, I think, because your experience of her emotional tone matches mine. Including the empathy; she helped get me through J's departure last fall.

*high fives caveofstars*

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

As always, you offer a welcome and needed dose of perspective. While I definitely felt a strong sense of her presence, and comfort in that presence, what remained top of mind from an analytical perspective was what I had not achieved in the area of communication.

I believe that I've already mentioned my tendency to be impatient with my own progress. . . Please keep helping me be aware of my achievements.

And from a spiritual point of view, the very fact that I am seeking the company of the Divine again, and trusting that it's a meaningful effort, is hugely significant. Hmmm. . . that probably rates its own post in my primary journal.

[oakmouse]

Please keep helping me be aware of my achievements.

You got it! ;)