Update

[qos]

I arrived at work this morning to find an email from Miss Vicki in which she said that after being reminded that she had indeed asked me to take the lead on the newsletter, and after reviewing all the emails regarding the newsletter which had built up while she was on vacation, and seeing that I "had a good handle" on things, and after reviewing her own work load, she has decided that it is probably best if instead of assuming my role, she assumes her boss's role: "as an extra pair of eyes and ears." (Is she even aware that she was using phrasing from my email to her?)

I still find her attitude annoyingly condescending, but I am not sorry that Jeannie delaying my response to her first email seems to have prevented what might have become an escalating conflict. I'll give Vicki credit for stepping back rather than pushing the issue.

But I still took queenofhalves's quote, copied it in my personal code, and stuck it up on my cube wall. I'm not usually pessimistic, but I have the feeling that I'm going to need the reminder in the future.

Comments

[moonborn.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it only took her 24 hours to actually get some brains about the issue. ;p

Do you think you irritate Miss Vicki as much as she irritates you (I think you mentioned something about mutuality back a few months ago)? Just a thoght, because I've known quite a few people who felt threatened and irritated whose immediate reaction was to be high-handed and condescending.

[qos.livejournal.com]

Do you think you irritate Miss Vicki as much as she irritates you?

I suspect that I do -- which is one of the reasons I adopted the other two strategies dealing with her besides emotional detachment. One was recalibrating my expectations regarding my degree of autonomy, and the other was to take my own pride down a few notches. I bite my tongue more now, and choose to defer to her more often than I did at first. There are some times -- like this one -- when I will push back. But I am trying to do less that might irritate her.

It's not pleasant to think that I rub someone else the wrong way. Getting along with others, being courteous to others, is important to me. I have never known anyone else with whom I have had this kind of mutually-irritating dynamic.

To her credit: I do think she tries to get along with me too. At the very least, she realizes -- as I do -- that we have to be able to work together, or we can't do our jobs. She's not a malicious or mean person. For some reason, we just set each other's teeth on edge.