Plan B

[qos]

When emotional detachment doesn't work, a ten minute walk around the neighborhood on a sunny day can be very helpful in resisting the urge to scream and throw something at a nemesis.

Vicki and I had been doing so well for about a month. And today - POW!

Several months ago, we agreed that I would take ownership of the new department newsletter. I have done so. But she got bent out of shape when I scheduled a meeting between her boss (the VP, my boss's boss) and my newsletter team during the week she was on vacation. And today I received an email from her boss about the newsletter that listed Vicki first in the newsletter team. The Enterprise Communications Director who I am working with also includes her in the cc's of all his emails. But Vicki had never said anything to me about playing any kind of role in the newsletter process.

So I sent her an email today: What do you understand your role to be in this project? [. . .] Please let me know, so I can make sure you get what you need.

Her reponse: [My VP] wants me to be involved so I will assume the same role as you

Excuse me? My role is Project Lead. I am the one organizing the writers, acting as general editor, meeting with the creative group, and acting as the liaison with the Enterprise Communications Director. This is not a role two people can do without creating an absolute hairball. There needs to be one lead. If she wants the job, she can have it. But she can not simply "assume" my role.

If it wasn't Miss Vicki, with the history we have (not to mention the morning we were having!), I wouldn't have reacted so strongly. But as it was. . . All I could do was stare at her email on the screen and grind my teeth. I was simply overwhelmed with anger. (Being extra tired this morning and slightly queasy from a poor breakfast choice didn't help matters.)

So I simply got up from my desk, walked downstairs and out of the building and kept walking. It took a while to get calmed down and centered, but I eventually managed. Before I emailed my response, I told Jeannie what I was doing and that I was going to cc her on my response. She asked me to wait, and said that she would talk with Vicki's VP to get clarity on her desire for Vicki's involvement. It was great to have her support, but I also felt abruptly disempowered, because I had used my walk time to gather my composure and compose a firm but polite response, and now I was not going to be able to send it. Jeannie had taken my initiative away from me.

At the end of the day I checked in with Jeannie to find out what - if anything - she had learned, and found out that she hadn't had a chance to talk with the VP. I told her Miss Vicki had asked to talk with me tomorrow about the newsletter. "Just push back on the subject of ownership," she instructed me. "Either you own it or she does." I think she's going to try to find out more this afternoon.

Vicki pushed all my buttons this morning, and I know she wasn't too pleased with me either.

Now I have to let all the frustration go, remind myself that it's not important enough to stress about, and start again tomorrow.

Comments

[gothic-coop.livejournal.com]

Inhale Einstein, exhale Hitler.

[queenofhalves]

someone (i think john) once said to me, while i was fuming about a woman i was having a conflict with, "stop treating her like she's your nemesis. she doesn't have what it takes to be your nemesis."

not sure if this helps in your situation, but there it is. :>

[qos.livejournal.com]

That's lovely! Perfect!
Thank you!

That's going to become my mantra!

[queenofhalves]

*grin*