I Didn't Think I Was *That* Different
Jul. 10th, 2004 09:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosQueen Christina: Who on God's earth could possibly be a match for me?
Azzollino: He would have to be a man. . . quite rare.
- The Abdication, by Ruth Wolff
I had some free time this morning, so I decided to finally give in to all the banner ads and create a profile on eHarmony.com. (I'm deciding to open myself up to passion again, after all.) I completed their very long personality profile, and selected "The World" as the region in which to search.
The result?
Not. One. Match.
None.
Zilch.
Nada.
In the whole world.
Azzollino: He would have to be a man. . . quite rare.
- The Abdication, by Ruth Wolff
I had some free time this morning, so I decided to finally give in to all the banner ads and create a profile on eHarmony.com. (I'm deciding to open myself up to passion again, after all.) I completed their very long personality profile, and selected "The World" as the region in which to search.
The result?
Not. One. Match.
None.
Zilch.
Nada.
In the whole world.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-10 10:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-10 11:17 am (UTC)I have enough financial pressures without trying to buy a match -- especially since I'm not actually looking that hard.
BTW: I accidentally posted this entry multiple times. I'm going to try to delete the one without comments, but if I get this one by accident, don't take it personally!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-11 12:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-12 09:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-13 05:42 am (UTC)Being hard to match is not a bad thing in my book.
Hope all is well with you. Glad to see you're still here!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-13 08:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-13 05:40 pm (UTC)There are more than enough things that important to me right now for me to be putting my energy into (studies, time with my daughter, working out, working on my novel, completing my home improvement projects, enjoying the friends I already have) without putting effort into looking for and growing a romantic relationship when I don't want to partner with anyone. If someone interesting shows up in my life in the course of doing what I'm already doing, great. If not, that's one less demand on my time.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-14 04:03 pm (UTC)I have so many questions about your projects. Like what can you tell me about your novel? I think I need to just dedicate a day to going back and reading posts of your yours though instead of making you re-write things you have already entered just for my behalf.
""If someone interesting shows up in my life in the course of doing what I'm already doing, great. If not, that's one less demand on my time.""
Love is much more likely to find you this way than if you go hunting for it.
Best of luck on all your projects and dreams.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-14 05:12 pm (UTC)!!! I'm flattered you find me that interesting, and on such short acquaintance!
what can you tell me about your novel?
The novel happened by accident. I do creative writing for pleasure. One day I decided to play with one of the 'set pieces' of romance novels. There's a standard storyline in which the heroine is left alone in charge of her family's castle/lands during wartime. The enemy - who is also the hero - invades. Pyrotechnics ensue: hatred, attraction, passion, misunderstandings, complications, etc., etc., etc.
I wanted to take the set piece: girl, castle, invaders, and instead of writing bodice-ripper passion, take a look at ways women and men can relate to each other besides romance and sex. (Not that I have anything against sex and romance, I just wanted to play with the conventions.)
So I twiddled and scribbled - and cheated by borrowing the personalities of some of my many male friends to play the role of mercenary soldiers - and suddenly I had forty pages or more. On impulse - since at that time I almost never shared my recreational writing with anyone (in fact, I usually wrote in code) - I did share my episodes with some of the aforementioned friends (gaming buddies, all of them). They expressed delight at the story and asked if there was more.
Next thing I knew my little experiment was growing longer and more complicated, and suddenly I realized that I had a beginning, middle and end, character development arcs, and - great zot! - a real live novel-length story.
It's 85% finished. I've got "the good parts": the big, dramatic events. What I need now is the connecting tissue, the smaller episodes that provide continuity and illustrate some of the character development that motivates the big stuff. The story takes place over two years, so there are necessarily gaps in the action. The question is what to show during the 'slow' times.
The novel (working title: "Occupation") is about growing up, power and coming into one's power, family (good and bad), friendship, warrior virtues, sovereignty, loyalty, honor, courage, sacrifice, and religious faith. I'm proud of it, and intend to finish it for my own sake, even if it never finds a publisher. At the very least I'll find an on-demand printer and make copies for my friends.
That's one of my oldest dreams: to publish a book.
Find a way or make one
Date: 2004-07-14 11:15 pm (UTC)!!! I'm flattered you find me that interesting, and on such short acquaintance!
You have fascinated me.
The novel happened by accident. I do creative writing for pleasure. One day I decided to play with one of the 'set pieces' of romance novels. There's a standard storyline in which the heroine is left alone in charge of her family's castle/lands during wartime. The enemy - who is also the hero - invades. Pyrotechnics ensue: hatred, attraction, passion, misunderstandings, complications, etc., etc., etc.
I wanted to take the set piece: girl, castle, invaders, and instead of writing bodice-ripper passion, take a look at ways women and men can relate to each other besides romance and sex. (Not that I have anything against sex and romance, I just wanted to play with the conventions.)
Genre twisting, this is how great books are written. You are expanding on ideas already presented, you had your format, a skeleton of a book and you were able to take it and fill it with your own ideas and energy.
So I twiddled and scribbled - and cheated by borrowing the personalities of some of my many male friends to play the role of mercenary soldiers - and suddenly I had forty pages or more. On impulse - since at that time I almost never shared my recreational writing with anyone (in fact, I usually wrote in code) - I did share my episodes with some of the aforementioned friends (gaming buddies, all of them). They expressed delight at the story and asked if there was more.
It’s said that people can only write about what and who they know, do these people know that they have contributed some mannerisms, appearances or dialogue to your project?
I’m glad that you made the choice to share with them, and now with me because otherwise I would never have known, I love stories and I am already interested in finding out more about yours. I will most certainly order a copy.
Next thing I knew my little experiment was growing longer and more complicated, and suddenly I realized that I had a beginning, middle and end, character development arcs, and - great zot! - a real live novel-length story.
You say that like it was an accident *smile* I imagine it took a lot more hard work than that. It is one thing to create a story arc in the mind, it is another thing to write it into being, complete and clean of large holes.
It's 85% finished. I've got "the good parts": the big, dramatic events. What I need now is the connecting tissue, the smaller episodes that provide continuity and illustrate some of the character development that motivates the big stuff. The story takes place over two years, so there are necessarily gaps in the action. The question is what to show during the 'slow' times.
The devil is in the details. This last 15% will probably be the most difficult, though I cannot say, I do not know you well.
The novel (working title: "Occupation") is about growing up, power and coming into one's power, family (good and bad), friendship, warrior virtues, sovereignty, loyalty, honor, courage, sacrifice, and religious faith. I'm proud of it, and intend to finish it for my own sake, even if it never finds a publisher. At the very least I'll find an on-demand printer and make copies for my friends.
When you finish it, I cannot imagine you not finding a publisher. With all the amazingly useless stuff that is published now days I believe that that if this project has heart (which it seems to glow with) then it will find it’s way to the hands of a publisher.
That's one of my oldest dreams: to publish a book.
Mine also. Even if it is just a comic book, I want to be able to share my stories with the largest possible audience. Keep to it. You will either find a way or make one.
Re: Find a way or make one
Date: 2004-07-15 06:05 am (UTC)I have to admit: I've made some good friends on LJ, some of whom share several key interests with me, but this is the first time I've felt such a chord struck with someone so quickly. I'm really enjoying our conversation.
do these people know that they have contributed some mannerisms, appearances or dialogue to your project?
Yes, they know, and a couple of them have even done a bit of collaboration. One or two have written episodes on their own, some of which I have had to not include because they took 'their' characters in ways that don't fit the book. In fact, I was enjoying the collaborative element so much I went a bit too far with it. I needed to keep it closer to my chest/heart in order to keep it flowing from my own stream. I've had to step back from the input in order to regain some control and the purity of the impulse.
I love stories and I am already interested in finding out more about yours
I'd like to share, but - because of the incidents I wrote about above - I'm avoiding having others read it right now. I need to disengage from the desire to share and find out what others think in order to concentrate on what I think, and what I want for the characters.
You say that like it was an accident *smile* I imagine it took a lot more hard work than that. It is one thing to create a story arc in the mind, it is another thing to write it into being, complete and clean of large holes.
You do me too much credit with that comment. I really didn't intend to write a novel; the story just kept growing. And it most definitely was not complete and clean of holes. Because it started by growing haphazardly, with me writing episodes on impulse from all parts of the story arc, I had to do a lot of re-writing in order to bring the whole tale into consistency. There have been a great many revisions as I've realized that situations I set up initially for my daydream writing just couldn't stand as parts of a story that I wanted to have at least one foot in realism.
With all the amazingly useless stuff that is published now days I believe that that if this project has heart (which it seems to glow with) then it will find it’s way to the hands of a publisher.
I'm hoping that it still has its heart after all the writing and re-writing I've done. What's been painful has been going back and finding that the later writing isn't as good as the earlier writing. Part of the problem was that in trying to "write for an audience" I lost the heart. I'm trying to rediscover that heart and fix that problem. But it's hard because the initial impulse is many years in the past.
But it has been frustrating to pick up genre fiction and try to read it and think "This is awful" and believe that what I have is better, if I could only finish it.
But your enthusiasm inspires me!
What do you write?
I wouldn't say "just" a comic book. There has been some amazing stuff that's been published in comic form. I'm not a huge fan, but I've read enough over the years to know that comics are under-appreciated -- especially from the perspective of story. Which is what it's all about, as far as I'm concerned.
On writing
Date: 2004-07-15 09:57 pm (UTC)I am also really enjoying out conversation also. It's been a while that I have looked forward to checking my livejournal this much.
I understand completely the perdicament. I have had the same problem even in regular gameing. Sometimes the input and direction from others gets to be too much. You are still the author, it is your work and you need to maintain control of it. Meshing work from mulipule authors in a cohesive story is a challenge, it becomes too easy to loose focus or to depend on others in ways that are not supportive of the story.
I was working on a writing project once that I was doing as a gift to a friend. She was one of the characters in it, and when I gave her the first chapters, she hated what I had done with her character and wouldn't read anymore of the story until I fixed it. I never fixed it.
I am more than willing to wait until you are finished. But I am very interested in seeing the final draft when you do decide to release it.
I give credit where it is due, I am a writer sometimes myself. It is a process, a full time job that takes a lot of work and creates more than enough stress. I know your story isn't perfect now, but from what it sounds like you are making revisions and expansions and most importantly keeping true to yourself with it. You are also actually writing, which is more than a lot of people who claim to want to be writers do.
I know once I revisit something I made years ago I find it hard to write in the same voice. My moods and feelings have changed and the piece changes with them. The best i have ever been able to do is a full rewrite of an old piece, using it as inspiration for a new piece in the new voice.
My favorite author, chuck palanuick got into writing because he was an insomniac who ran out of books to read. He kept picking new books up and thinking that he could do better. So he did, he wrote the kind of books he likes to read and is now a bestselling author.
Energy calls to energy, I have a great deal of creative energy, it is the truth of my soul. I cannot write to you about these things without being enthusiastic and calling out to your creative energy.
I write mircofiction short stories mostly. Sometimes I get around to staring an ambitious project, but something happens and I can't continue. Now I can't even find my old projects. They got lost someplace. I have written stories inspired by games, or my muses dictate great stories to me.
Some of the best writing I have ever read was in comics. I am a fan, but I generally only read comic reccomended to me by people I trust.
They have a small audience and are seldom taken seriously. Not that being popular or taken seriously is important. I just consider comic books to be the lowest form of anything I would actually seek to get published in. There is stuff lower, but I wont even go there.
Re: On writing
Date: 2004-07-16 05:58 am (UTC)Ach. That's tough for both of you. When I'm in love, I write stories for the other person, starring the other person. I've been fortunate that this has usually been well-received. I felt extremely fortunate that my friends responded as well as they did to their avatars in Occupation. But I've had a couple of instances in which someone has tried to write me - or even one of my PC's - and I haven't liked what they've done. It's an uncomfortable feeling, like they don't know me as well as I thought, or that they were twisting me to suit themselves.
I've never heard of chuck palanuick. What does he write? But I can relate to his motivation. That's how I've felt for a long time.
I'd like to read some of your writing.
Re: On writing
Date: 2004-07-16 04:52 pm (UTC)CP wrote Fight Club and several other books on Identity. Even if you may have not liked Fight Club his work is very worth reading. I posted the link to his site (which includes a writer's workshop).
I am going to at least get some notes published today. No matter what I will be writing again shortly and posting what I write to LJ. Cause I am a glutton for punishment.
Re: On writing
Date: 2004-07-17 08:53 am (UTC)Not sure if I liked it enough to pick up his books, but I'll keep an eye out next time I'm in the bookstore.
I look forward to reading your notes!
Re: On writing
Date: 2004-07-19 04:05 pm (UTC)Fight club isn't even his best work, but it's what just about everyone knows him for. I like his non-fiction most, but he's also done some contemp. horror and more books like Fight Club, I consider Fight Club to mostly be about identity a subject that Chuck writes about a great deal.
I look forward to writting them up... just as soon as I get caught up on my tags and do some housework.