qos | Depressed

I'm having a lousy day today: deeper depression than I've experienced for quite some time. Intellectually I know it's let-down from the move and the job ending, combined with PMS, but that isn't making me feel any better. Instead, I feel an irrational degree of unworthiness and other types of low self-esteem -- not usual for me even during depression. I'm feeling like a failure on multiple levels -- and no, being laid off isn't part of that. I'm pretty clear that the lay-off had nothing to do with me or my performance. It's about all the things I do care about: my vocation, my priestess work, being a mother, certain friendships, my eating and exercise, the state of my house, and etc.

It doesn't help that Lohain's birthday was two days ago, and his absence is a constant sharp pain -- far sharper than it's been in a while.

The one bright spot is that I finally found the box with the other half of my altar stuff in it, including the marriage altar. Evidently I'd neglected to cross off the label saying "Wolfling's Clothes" when I packed it. I'm lucky it was still in the living room and not in the chaos field of her bedroom.

I really, really need to get out of the house and do something fun.