qos: (Dragon Egg)
[personal profile] qos
Wow. . . I was unprepared for the one-two shot from the universe today.

First, on the subject of "weight loss" -- which I put in quotes because while I do want to lose weight, I do think about it in a holistic way: better eating habits, more exercise, more water, and etc. Today on FetLife, I found a post from someone asking what group members thought about "weight loss as an ordeal" -- and my ears pricked up.

One of the big challenges I have around improving my physical lifestyle habits is that I don't have any emotional energy around it. I've never been physically vain, and I don't have any important goals that are impacted by my physical condition (except insofar as any activity or goal is impacted by one's physical self), so it's always been a challenge for me to stay motivated. But framing it as a spiritual ordeal could be a valuable, vital paradigm shift. This is something I just happened on this afternoon, so I'll have to sit with it for a while and discuss it with my ordeal mistress (Ereshkigal), but I'm intrigued by the potentials.

The other shift is, of course, this sudden strong desire to try dancing. I see it as a direct consequence of my recent conversation with Ereshkigal and Her urging me to get in touch with Inanna and embrace passion. But it also builds on Wolfling's new-found love for salsa, and her desire to get me involved, reading Faith in Carlos Gomez, and [livejournal.com profile] jillwheezul's affirmation of embracing life. . .

I don't want to get too excited about any of this, because I hate my tendency to go head-over-heels and then burn out when things get challenging. . . but as I write that I think about my perserverance in staying with my priestess training for a year and a half, so maybe I'm starting to gain some resilience.

However either of these paths go, I want them to be joyous. I supposes there's always a time on any path when one has to simply grit one's teeth and keep going, but I want my overall approach to be gentle and joyous. And if you're asking how an "ordeal" can be "gentle and joyous" -- well, I'm kinky, and I'm pretty sure I know what that kind of space feels like.


More bulletins as events warrant. . .

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-09 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blessed-harlot.livejournal.com
I find the connections you are making to be insightful and fascinating, and I look forward to following this part of your journey too.
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