Question About Love

[qos]

Someone asked

I know you are hoping to date and fall in love again. what can you tell me about what you are seeking from a potential partner?

When I read this, my first thought was You're mistaken. I never said that.
The thought of loving anyone else, being partnered with anyone else, feels like profound infidelity.

And yet, I can easily imagine I did write that, or something close to it, at some point over the past year and a half.

The fact is, I'm back where I was three or four years ago: I'm not looking for anyone, but I'm aware that the universe can throw some amazing curve balls. uncrowned_king is still deep in my heart, still a living reality for me, and I simply can not imagine giving my heart to anyone else. But I've learned to never say never.

I start to try to imagine "what I would look for in a potential partner" and everything leads right back to uncrowned_king. I can't imagine sharing with someone else what is so deeply associated with him: a spiritual connection, a temperment that complements mine, a friend who sees and loves every part of me, someone who enjoys similar activities but who broadens my world with new interests. . . someone I feel safe with, who I believe will stand beside me and protect me -- and let me protect him when appropriate.

I want a warrior-king who honors and cherishes, delights in and lusts after his queen-priestess.

I'm not sure how many of those there are in this world.

Or if I have room for another one in my heart if I do find one.

Comments

[athenian-abroad.livejournal.com]

I want a warrior-king who honors and cherishes, delights in and lusts after his queen-priestess.

A random thought, for what it's worth: you've had that relationship. And it may very well be irreplaceable -- perhaps you won't have that kind of relationship again, with anyone else. So the next question would be: is there some other kind of relationship you can imagine for yourself? And what would that be?

[qos.livejournal.com]

Damn it, but you always ask the best questions.

Right now, I can't imagine any other relationship that I want. However, I know it's possible that another type of relationship will manifest and give me joy.

My imagination is failing at what that might look like, however -- and I'm not really inclined to push it right now.

[erl-queen.livejournal.com]

Hm, that was pretty much what I was going to say.

You never know how things will work - my relationship with Sannion is extremely different from the dynamic I had with previous long-term partners, and it's something I would never have gone looking for, yet really works for me.