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[qos]

They had a tango team perform after dinner this evening. They were very good.

And while I was watching, I couldn't stop thinking The one thing we didn't do was ballroom dancing lessons.

Then some of us joined the dancers for a while, and I didn't do very well, and it was after 9pm and the lights were hot, and when it was over I went to the ladies room -- and dissolved in tears. All of the sudden all I could do was hurt.

Fortunately, the tour staff is great, and when I asked the head guy, M, if there was a quiet, private spot I could retreat to, he escorted me out to a bench and kept me company while I explained briefly what was going on, and got myself under control. Then, bless his heart, he offered to drive me back to the hotel early.

So I'm here, alone, in the relative quiet (there's always music playing here), having gotten through another bout of tears. I wish Wolfling was here to snuggle, because I could really use hugs right now.

I wish he was here. In the flesh. I can remember how his arms felt when he held me: how strong and grounding and secure. So full of love and the silent assurance that he was there and would continue to be there.

His spirit abides with me, but gods I miss his embrace.

Comments

[revpanthera.livejournal.com]

Small consolation as it is but I sent my *hugs* to hold and cradle you as you weather this. xoxo

[qos.livejournal.com]

*hugs

Thank-you.

[oakmouse]

*hugs*

[elevengirl.livejournal.com]

Hugs from me, too.

[qos.livejournal.com]

Cyberhugs aren't as good as having someone there -- but they are still very welcome! Thank you!

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you found a kind person just then. I know, too, that cyberhugs aren't the same. But I send lots, and I send any energy I can contribute to you feeling closer to those you love, and wrapped in embraces that are comforting and satisfying.

[qos.livejournal.com]

No, cyberhugs aren't the same as having someone there -- but they are still very welcome. Thanks for sending them!

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

You were brave to tell him what you needed. I'm glad he responded with the care and consideration you deserved.

[qos.livejournal.com]

It's funny. . . at times like that I don't feel brave. I feel like I'm running away because I don't have the resources to handle things.

But I too am very glad he responded as he did. He could have simply said "there are benches outside, if you need to go somewhere else." This man also asked me to dance on the final night, which was sweet and fun. I said "no thanks" at first, then realized that I needed to do it, and had fun.