qos: (Sabrina in Tree)
[personal profile] qos
It has been really tough having Wolfling staying with her father this week. I have completely lost the knack of living alone. Instead of feeling comfortably solitary, I'm lonely. I'm almost entirely without motivation when I get home from work, and the house is getting more and more cluttered.

Work is slow and meaningless and saps my energy and mental acuity.

I have done some more brainstorming and note-taking for my Pantheacon class, which is good, but haven't started organizing it yet. Guess that's on the to-do list for today. So is balancing the checkbook, paying overdue bills, and picking up the clutter in the entryway.

I'm also going to check some job listings at other companies, and work on creating a new website for my professional practice. I lost my old site when my friend changed his server arrangement and I couldn't afford the new price he quoted me.

My spiritual practice is in a "slogging through" state right now. Sometimes the divine seems very far away. It's a common state that everyone goes through from time to time, but it sucks to be in it. And of course feeling distant from my deities and allies just intensifies the loneliness of the rest of my life.

I comfort myself with the faith that I do have friends and allies who care for me, even if they aren't right here at the moment, and the awareness that this is a temporary point in a larger cycle.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-28 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bookchick.livejournal.com
::hugs::

let me know if there's anything I can do; also, contact us privately if you need some hosting...

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-28 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bookchick.livejournal.com
as in site-hosting. DOH.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-29 05:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'll let you know!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-28 05:21 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] oakmouse
*hug*

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-28 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dorjejaguar.livejournal.com
I feel you. When I'm lonely it can slow me way down too.
One of the things that helps is to put on music. The rhythm seems to get me moving a bit.

I don't know what your spiritual practice is like so this recommendation may not be useful or be redundant or something, but I'll just throw it your way in case it could be useful.

I was thinking if you could journey to your garden then you could meet your allies there and be comforted. :)
This book could help.
http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Sacred-Garden-Traveling-Spiritual/dp/1401901115/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198871675&sr=1-3

Take care you.
:)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-29 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thanks for the good wishes.
I actually have a couple of places where I usually have good luck meeting my allies. But it's like everything on the inner is obscured right now -- or has been. I think it's starting to clear up a bit.
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