I Broke His Ring

[qos]

Last Spring, when we went on our romantic retreat for Lohain's birthday, he bought me a simple hematite ring. A few weeks later, I started wearing it on my left hand, and I've continued to wear it.

Until 10 minutes ago when I was screaming-crying in the shower and slamming my palms against the tile wall, and I shattered it.

I'm devastated.



FUCK!

Comments

[kateri-thinks.livejournal.com]

Oh honey.

Oh no.


FUCK.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Please tell me to shut the fuck up if I'm way off the mark, but could it be that he's telling you it's time to move on?

[qos.livejournal.com]

A year ago, I would have said the same thing to someone in my position. But no, I honestly don't believe that he's telling me that.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

How horrible. ::hugs::

[tamnonlinear.livejournal.com]

Stone rings tend to break, same as shell rings. It's not a malleable substance, the way metal is, or flexible as even plastic is. Stone and bone and shell break when in thin layers and under impact. It is not so delicate as glass, but it is not a resilient substance.

Metal is not strong, not in the sense of how it handles stress. It takes the load and distributes it. It tends to warp and deform before it breaks. A well-made and well-worn ring can last a very long time, because the forces on it will be evenly distributed and therefore the warping will balance out and it will retain its true shape.

Stone is strong. It will not deform under stress. Instead it takes the stress until to breaks. It shatters instead of warps. It is, in the end, brittle, though a stone foundation will last centuries and shell and bone can create mountains.

A broken piece of stonework can be pieced back together, and with epoxies and glues you can reform the shape. A broken piece of metal will need to be reformed, reforged, or welded to regain its shape.

You can be either strong or you can be flexible, you can be warped or you can be brittle, and you can be glued or you can be reforged. To every substance there are traits that will make it last, and circumstance under which it will no longer be what it was, and for every one there are also ways it can recover and be recreated. It's just a matter of understanding. None of these are wrong, they just are, and it's a matter of knowing the nature and traits of the materials, and what they can and cannot do.

I'm sorry for your loss, and for the loss of the ring, and for the pain of both.

I wish you comfort, in whatever form it takes, and healing, through whatever means are needed.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

You are wonderful.

[qos.livejournal.com]

You have the most wonderful way with words.
Thank you.

[jaynefury.livejournal.com]

Have the pieces worked into a strong metal ring or pendant. I know some metalworkers and I'm sure you do, too.

Perhaps the person who did say "it's time to move on" was not completely off the mark. Perhaps it's time to put your memories in another form.

My prayers are with you, today.

[qos.livejournal.com]

Having the pieces put into a pendant or something is a great idea. Thank you.

Thank you for your prayers.

[rebeccax.livejournal.com]

I really admire your ability to scream and cry and slam your palms until your rings shatter. I wish I could.

[qos.livejournal.com]

When Lohain died, I had to learn to scream and cry and pound things or I'd burst -- but it's not my usual way of being. Usually I'm all about self-control and keeping things under control.

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

I've been wearing an amethyst ring that was my mother's, since she died in 2004. A couple of weeks ago I lost the stone from the setting and I never found it. That will teach me to rake up dead leaves with jewellery on. It probably went out in the green waste bin.

I took it to be symbolic of a severance of some issues I had with my mother.

Your birthday without Lohain is a typical time for grief to resurface. Of course you are angry and hurting. Life has changed so much since last birthday, and not for the better.

I would treat it as a symbol that you've got the anger out.

I hope you have a good time with your friends and I wish you a positive and hopeful Tarot for your birthday. I am sure there are lots of good things in store for you.

[qos.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words.

[vsmallgoddess.livejournal.com]

Fact: Hematite shatters easily. It's also a stone used in spiritual cleansing.

Nobody knows how much Lohain meant to you more than me. One year (to the day) after he & I had a spiritual bonding ritual, the leather strap that I wore as a sign to my commitment to him just snapped and fell off. I was inconsolable. Although I know the circumstances are very different, nothing ever given can be taken away or lost.
You are so strong. May this year be better than the last. We love and miss you.

[qos.livejournal.com]

Thank you both.

I do feel him with me, and that's a comfort for the times when his absence is an ache that nothing else can assuage. And it's good to know that there are others who have their own reasons to believe me when I say that I know he is still there, still here, even if he's not in the body anymore.

[iswari.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. My heart hurts to read this. Wishing you tender comfort....

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Hematite is for me a symbol of longterm commitment and marriage. To transform it from iron ore into iron or steel, it needs to be heated, melted, skimmed, dosed with additives, beaten, shaped, and changed beyond recognition. Yet iron, like longing, never wears out. And even shattered it can always be melted and rejoined.

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

You can pick up the pieces and do what feels right with em.
Then you can get something new.
:)

Personally I don't like hematite at all. I wont even handle it. Feels off to me. And that can't be, it just is what it is. I'm guessing it's off for me though. There's plenty of other stones and metal that are better for me.

I can see you getting something new that will be good for you.
It'll be alright. Really.
:)