Snow - and Memories
Dec. 1st, 2007 02:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI woke this morning and was surprised to see a dusting of snow on the ground. Ah well, it's the first of December, I thought, and was glad that it was likely to be melted by mid-day.
Except that now it's mid-day and it's coming down thick and fast, with no sign of stopping.
I'm glad I'm home, that it's the weekend and I don't have to worry about getting to work -- or not. I wish, however, that the wolfling was with me and not twenty miles away. On the bright side, her father grew up on the east coast and knows how to drive in snow.
Last winter, as some of you may recall, we had a huge snowstorm here. It took me a couple of hours to get home from work, and there were a couple of times I was afraid I wasn't going to make it at all.
Once home, however, Lohain and I decided to walk a few blocks to an IHOP to have waffles and hot chocolate -- something I never would have done without him.
It was magical. I held on to his arm as we walked through the thickly-falling snow. It was quiet and dark, and the snow collected on our coats and hair and eyelids. We had a fun dinner, and on the walk back he stopped to pick up a stick and write "I love you" in big letters in the fresh snow.
When I first met Lohain he was neither playful nor particularly romantic. He offered a rough, straightforward passion that intoxicated me, and even the smallest of romantic gestures took me off-guard. That night, as I looked at him standing there in the snow, grinning, next to his declaration, I felt warm all over, knowing I was seeing a side of him few had been priveleged to see. Maybe not anyone.
When we got back to my house he bent down and picked up a handfull of snow. I knew I had three options: say "Don't you dare!", run away, or deliver a pre-emptive strike. I'm proud to say that I chose the third option. We had a snowball fight in the front yard, something I hadn't done for years.
Heavy snow scares me on a non-rational level. I've been put in stressful situations by the snow a few times (including needing to take shelter with the emotionally abusive man I'd left a few months prior because I was caught mid-way in a journey), and I'm always stressed when it snows like this. With Lohain beside me in my home, I knew I was going to be okay, that whatever happened, we could handle together. I knew he would protect me if it became necessary, but that it was more likely that we would stand together and deal with whatever needed to be done.
I miss him.
He would have loved today.
Except that now it's mid-day and it's coming down thick and fast, with no sign of stopping.
I'm glad I'm home, that it's the weekend and I don't have to worry about getting to work -- or not. I wish, however, that the wolfling was with me and not twenty miles away. On the bright side, her father grew up on the east coast and knows how to drive in snow.
Last winter, as some of you may recall, we had a huge snowstorm here. It took me a couple of hours to get home from work, and there were a couple of times I was afraid I wasn't going to make it at all.
Once home, however, Lohain and I decided to walk a few blocks to an IHOP to have waffles and hot chocolate -- something I never would have done without him.
It was magical. I held on to his arm as we walked through the thickly-falling snow. It was quiet and dark, and the snow collected on our coats and hair and eyelids. We had a fun dinner, and on the walk back he stopped to pick up a stick and write "I love you" in big letters in the fresh snow.
When I first met Lohain he was neither playful nor particularly romantic. He offered a rough, straightforward passion that intoxicated me, and even the smallest of romantic gestures took me off-guard. That night, as I looked at him standing there in the snow, grinning, next to his declaration, I felt warm all over, knowing I was seeing a side of him few had been priveleged to see. Maybe not anyone.
When we got back to my house he bent down and picked up a handfull of snow. I knew I had three options: say "Don't you dare!", run away, or deliver a pre-emptive strike. I'm proud to say that I chose the third option. We had a snowball fight in the front yard, something I hadn't done for years.
Heavy snow scares me on a non-rational level. I've been put in stressful situations by the snow a few times (including needing to take shelter with the emotionally abusive man I'd left a few months prior because I was caught mid-way in a journey), and I'm always stressed when it snows like this. With Lohain beside me in my home, I knew I was going to be okay, that whatever happened, we could handle together. I knew he would protect me if it became necessary, but that it was more likely that we would stand together and deal with whatever needed to be done.
I miss him.
He would have loved today.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-01 11:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-02 12:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:58 am (UTC)I have no comment to make on that. Intellectually, I have nothing to say, but somehow that affected me viscerally.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 04:06 am (UTC)