Healing

[qos]

This morning was the first time since Lohain died that I was able to listen to "I'll Cover You" without breaking down in tears.

Instead, I felt his spirit still close to me, and quiet joy in enduring love.

Comments

[coen.livejournal.com]

I have a picture of my son next to my bed, so I see him every time I wake up. For a long while, this would cause me to cry every morning after waking up.
But now it often makes me smile when I wake up. Not always, but often.

[qos.livejournal.com]

How long ago did you lose your son?
I'm very sorry.

[coen.livejournal.com]

I didn't lose my son. Not like you lost your man.
I left my wife and my kid. I did it myself, it was my own choice. My son is still my kid, and I am still his dad, and we still have contact. But it's different now. We don't live in the same town, we don't see each other daily, I don't take care of him like I used to. and I miss that.
And even though it was my own choice, it was hard for me to get used to not living with my kid anymore.

It was hard for him too. A lot harder probably, because it was not his choice. But he is happy now, living with his mom, who takes very good care of him.
He has been angry with me for leaving and sad for missing me, but he says he is over that now.

[qos.livejournal.com]

There are all kinds of loss. . .

I can imagine the pain I'd be in if my daughter did not live with me.