qos: (Love of a Princess)
[personal profile] qos
". . . the elements
So mixed in him that Nature might stand up
And say to all the world, 'This was a man!'"



[livejournal.com profile] uncrowned_king died in my arms early this morning.

It was not unexpected, but it is a shattering grief.

My heart is broken and I can not stop crying.

I have no hurtful or unhappy memories of him, no regrets of acts poorly committed or neglected, no word of love left unsaid. My only regrets are the dreams and plans left unfulfilled.





As Long As You're Mine

ELPHABA
Kiss me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
I need help believing
You're with me tonight
My wildest dreamings
Could not forsee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me

And just for this moment
As long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance
And crossed some border line
And if it turns out
It's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine

FIYERO
Maybe I'm brainless
Maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing
Though different eyes
Somehow I've fallen
Under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling
It's up that I fell

BOTH
Every moment
As long as you're mine
I'll wake up my body
And make up for lost time

FIYERO
Say there's no future
For us as a pair

BOTH
And though I may know
I don't care
Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight
Until it is through
And know I'll be here holding you
As long as you're mine

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bodhibird.livejournal.com
O ye gods. I had no idea. I am so, so sorry. {tries to hug through Internet}

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you, my friend.
Your energy reaches me, even if the actual hugs can not.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bookchick.livejournal.com
I am sooo sorry, hon. Much love to you.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 01:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you, my friend.
*hugs
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royalbananafish.livejournal.com
Wow. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] a-belletrist.livejournal.com
If there is anything you need, you have only to say so.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you. I am blessed by your friendship.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] featheredfrog.livejournal.com
You and yours are in the thoughts of many today. Including me.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 01:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
I saw your comments on the other journals as well. Thank you for your thoughts and support right now.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenite.livejournal.com
My sympathies to you and yours.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nixnivis.livejournal.com
I'm so very, very sorry.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malakhgabriel.livejournal.com
My prayers, thoughts and love go out to you and yours.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rojagrl.livejournal.com
I am so very sorry, qos. I had no idea. My prayers are with you and your family.

Love,
Sundance

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] oakmouse
OMG. I am so, so sorry! Thoughts and love to you and yours. As a priestess of an underworld goddess, I have offered up prayers for his safe transit and your healing. If you need to talk, or if there's anything else I can do to help, I have relevant experience; feel free to email me (my Flist can see my addy).
*huge hug*

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blessed-harlot.livejournal.com
Oh. Oh, my friend.

Hugs and prayers are yours.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-03 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you, my friend.
I wish you were here to guide me with your pastoral skills.
This kind of grieving is unfamiliar territory for me.

I'm smart enough to know that there will be ups and downs, that it will take time for healing to begin, much less be accomplished. . . but I don't know how I'm going to go into work on Monday and spend the day doing my routine admin duties without shattering into little pieces again because no one there has the slightest idea who or what I've lost or how the deep the blow is. How every day that passes takes me further away from him.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-03 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blessed-harlot.livejournal.com
I don't know what skills I'd have to give, except to listen. I know how important that is.

Of course you're not okay, and don't know what happens next. How can you? But you have gifts in trusting the process, and that will serve you well.

You're aware of the additional loss you have, with a workplace that can't fully hear the story for you. You do have people, both grieving and outside the grief, that can hear you as the next chapters get written. Please avail yourself of us when you need to. You are a master storyteller, and I know you will create something beautiful and true.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-04 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
You are a master storyteller, and I know you will create something beautiful and true.

Thank you especially for this.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jillwheezul.livejournal.com
Your wheezul family can not help but to feel grief. If there is anything we can do for you, do not hestitate to ask. *Hugs and tears*

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-03 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you, Jill.
It would be good to see you and Hob. He emailed and said you both might be able to come up some time in the next couple of weeks. That would be a great comfort.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-03 06:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jillwheezul.livejournal.com
Wheezuls are both in accord about a visit. My weekend calendar looks good - do you have a preference?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-03 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
I have most of the day this coming Saturday, but the daughter I need to be in Redmond by 5pm for dinner and a play with my mother, aunt and cousin. Sunday is clear.

The following Saturday is my parents' 50th anniversary party so I'm booked all day, but again the Sunday is available.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tx-cronopio.livejournal.com
My God. I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts and in my heart.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 11:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kateri-thinks.livejournal.com
I hope that you also read: If anything I can do, if anything you need, call. Call. I will answer.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wendy-lady.livejournal.com
I am very sorry for your loss. I had had no idea that he was even ill. Thoughts of guidance go out to those I serve for both him and yours.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crownofviolets.livejournal.com
I am so sorry... I wish I could offer more than that. My thoughts are with you.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-05-31 11:59 pm (UTC)
ext_35267: (Lotus Blossom)
From: [identity profile] wlotus.livejournal.com
Oh, good lord...

::plenty hugs::

I'm sorry.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caersidi.livejournal.com
we don't know each other well and I am not sure I have the right words to say apart from souls who love are never really parted.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-03 01:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Your icon is perfect, as are your words. Thank you.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-03 02:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caersidi.livejournal.com
That icon is very dear to me given it was made for me by an lotr icon maker when I was dealing with a death myself. The quote from Aragorn to Arwen had always moved me deeply.

"In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold, we are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory, Farewell.”

That you are able to cry and to mourn him now is a positive thing.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 9thmoon.livejournal.com
I am so sorry, J. My thoughts are with you.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] professor-mom.livejournal.com
Oh my God! That's incredible. I'm so so sorry to hear that. What an incredible sacred experience to share with someone. I'm totally overwhelmed. I had a thought that I might get to know him someday perhaps. I'm sorry that I'll never have the opportunity.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-03 02:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you for naming the sacred aspect of the experience. Truly, I had lost track of that.

In the hour leading up to his death, my feelings of despair and helplessness had a quiet companion in the back of my awareness: the sense of being the representative of the Goddess of Sovereignty presiding over the death of the king whose vigor had failed. I did not wield a knife, but there was something archetypally resonant about my presence at his death, just as there had been in so much of the rest of our relationship together.

It was indeed a sacred experience, and however wrenching the pain, I am glad that I was able to be there with him as he crossed over.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iswari.livejournal.com
Much love and peace to you...I am so sorry.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tamnonlinear.livejournal.com
Oh gods.

*hug*

I am so sorry.

Sad tidings

Date: 2007-06-01 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rocket-jockey.livejournal.com
Call if you need.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 04:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhonan.livejournal.com
This is one of the rare times when words escape me.

You will all be in my prayers.

A Keening Wail

Date: 2007-06-01 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thomryng.livejournal.com
Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis.

(Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.)

I am otherwise at a loss, other than to say that you are loved, and both of you are in my prayers.

We light a thousand candles bright

Date: 2007-06-01 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unicorndelamer.livejournal.com
I am sure that this is a very cold time for you. I pray that in your moments of darkness, you remember that you are surrounded by warm and loving friends - all over the globe - who are sending out their healing energy to you tonight and for many nights to come in whatever form suits them. Since learning of this, I have silently prayed that you two would have more time. I am thankful that you two were able to be together in his final moments. You have my support and whatever energy I can send. I am here for you, should you need me, even if all you need is an ear and someone to collect your tears. No matter what, know that you are not alone.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 09:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
Oh my God.

I had no idea.

I'm so sorry.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 12:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amqu.livejournal.com
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I had no idea. I will be praying for you and your daughter.

I know you guys aren't Christians, but this is something I find very comforting and maybe you will, too.

Revelation 21:3,4:
With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: “Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his peoples. And God himself will be with them. And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] princesca.livejournal.com
I am so sorry for your loss... I didn't even know him, save for what you said of him here, and your post made me gasp out loud. Sending you virtual hugs from Kentucky...

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] femalegamer.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear this, and you will be in my thoughts as well.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-01 07:50 pm (UTC)
queenofhalves: (Default)
From: [personal profile] queenofhalves
*HUG*

it sounds like you have a lot of support, but i'm not dissertating anymore, if you need me.

how is L handling it?

I'm stunned

Date: 2007-06-02 03:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] upasaka.livejournal.com
You are in my thought and prayers.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-02 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] labelleizzy.livejournal.com
Oh, sweetheart.
I missed this post initially... I am SO sorry for your loss...


(((((((hug)))))))
You have what energy I have to give.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-06-04 12:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sashajwolf.livejournal.com
I have been away and only just seen this. May you be comforted.

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