qos: (Older Wiser)
[personal profile] qos
Yes, it's my birthday today -- but the important news is that I made a major breakthrough this past week.

Recently I wrote about sitting in my weekly meeting with my manager and getting upset that I was saying the same things again about my fears and frustrations about my project and my inability to manage it the way I needed to. I promised my manager that I would make the necessary changes to my attitude, and in fact, when I turned in my post-meeting list of action items for the week the first item was "Do or do not. There is no try."

And then I had the opportunity to engage one of my stakeholders in a critically important conversation in order to clear up some significant misunderstandings. I did it because it was abundantly clear that she and my mentor had a history of unpleasantness with each other, and were missing each other's points and taking offense in the email conversation. I, on the other hand, have a good relationship with each of them, so I picked up the phone and called the stakeholder and said, "Can we talk?"

And I got great results. The first real tangible, meaningful results that I feel I've contributed to the project.

Afterward I realized that I had just done what I had always dreamed of doing, always believed was some of my fundamental Work: that of being a communication conduit between people who do not get along, or speak different languages, or whatever. The whole point of my Journeys fantasies was to become a person ("the" person, actually) who was trusted, who could speak all languages and understand cultural differences, so that peace could be made.

And I did that at work last week. And felt more satisfaction than I've felt for a very long time.
This is a real part of me. It is a talent, just one I haven't had the chance to use very often.

And on the same level -- probably not coincidentally -- I had a sacred, archetypal experience with LM on Saturday night that validated an entirely different aspect of my private, personal writing: a way of being and relating that I had never actually experienced, nor known anyone who did, but which came from my gut and felt right, as if I was drawing on something true but unknown.

I am finally becoming the woman I have always wanted to be but never believed could actually exist in this world.


[But one who is still a day or so behind reading my friends list!]

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-14 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tx-cronopio.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday, J! I'm delighted that this year is starting off in such a positive way! xox

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you!!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-14 03:30 pm (UTC)
ext_35267: (Default)
From: [identity profile] wlotus.livejournal.com
That is an awesome birthday present to yourself!

Have a happy one!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you!
It's so nice to actually see progress in things we've been working on, isn't it?

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 03:13 pm (UTC)
ext_35267: (Default)
From: [identity profile] wlotus.livejournal.com
Yes, and that is what has made this year such a good one for me.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-14 03:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chienne-folle.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday!

And congratulations on taking a big step!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you!
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Yes indeedy -- and thank you!

Have a happy anniversary!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-14 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] southernselkie.livejournal.com
That is wonderful. Happy Birthday. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you, Sees-ter!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-14 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kateri-thinks.livejournal.com
Dear [livejournal.com profile] qos, Awesome Subject Line!

And, too? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you - (again and again today!)

LOVE the icon!!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-14 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strandsofchaos.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday! ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Anything you can do about the weather up here???
;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strandsofchaos.livejournal.com
You're most welcome, M'lady.

Right now, the mundane forecast shows that things will start to clear up (but cool down a bit) over the next few days. There are a lot of things influencing my ability to focus and concentrate right now, but I'll certainly try to give it a little nudge. Just let me know what you want it to turn toward.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Less rain, less wind, please!!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strandsofchaos.livejournal.com
I'll see what I can do. I'll start my work tomorrow, around midday.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-14 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royalbananafish.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday!!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you!!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-14 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blessed-harlot.livejournal.com
Wow, wow, WOW! So Cool!!!

Happy birthday, Queen!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
Thank you, Reverend!

Birthday greetings

Date: 2006-12-14 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jillwheezul.livejournal.com
Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God.

Best wishes for a joyous natal day.

Love,

Katherine

Re: Birthday greetings

Date: 2006-12-15 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com

Thank you, Katherine, for the birthday wishes and for the passage.

All these years of imagining being a peacemaker on an intergalactic scale, and I never put it in that context before.

Belated ...

Date: 2006-12-15 03:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] revpanthera.livejournal.com
I, too, am a bit behind on reading my friend's LJ entries ... so a Big
Happy Birthday to You!

And I hope you have a wonderful birthday weekend!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 05:53 pm (UTC)
queenofhalves: (Default)
From: [personal profile] queenofhalves
it sounds like you had a wonderful birthday in unexpected ways. :) awesome.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-12-15 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] professor-mom.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday! I'm very happy that you are you. Thanks for being an inspiration to me.

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