Well, now. . . .

[qos]

I called the registrar's office today to find out what my student ID number is so I could access some student-only areas of the school's website.

Because, you see, even on leave I am still a "student."

Except that the nice person at the registrar's office told me that because I hadn't been enrolled last spring (Spring quarter was the online class I sort of just stopped 'attending' and ended up getting a "Z" for on my transcript). . . I have, as of April 12, exceed one year of non-enrollment, so I am no longer a student on leave.

I am not a student anymore.

If I wish to attend classes again, I must re-apply for admission.


I'm still deciding how I feel about that, and what - if anything - I'm going to do.

Comments

[toesontheground.livejournal.com]

It's quite a nice identity to have, being a student - like having a license to explore and be not quite part of the mainstream, while not really being an outsider either.

Good luck with your identity exploration and any decision-making that follows.

[qos.livejournal.com]

To me, being a student means being free and encouraged to dedicate large chunks of my time to learning, to spending lots of time with others who share my intellectual and creative interests. This has been especially true in seminary. There are not that many places where I've found a lively community of people who are committed to both spirituality and intellectual pursuits, who honor the connection that is possible there.

At the same time, being a 'student' means being under authority, performing to task, being restricted by the boundaries of others. Not bad things necessarily -- but I've been feeling for a while that I need to get beyond performing to others' expectations and setting my own goals and tasks.

The question is whether I need what this school can offer me if I'm going to progress in my vocation; whether I can get those needs filled somewhere/someplace else; or if I need something else entirely.

[royalbananafish.livejournal.com]

That is fairly annoying.

[qos.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is.

And I'm not sure how much to be annoyed at myself, and how much to be annoyed at the institution. I feel like I didn't get all the information I needed about what was going on last spring. But maybe I was just in too weird a headspace to properly process what they did give me.

I'm mostly annoyed at myself for simply giving up on that class last spring and basically pretending it didn't exist. Always a bad policy.

I'm going to need to do some serious discernment around what I want/need to do right now. Heck, discerning the difference between "want" and "need" will be a good place to start. Then I can try to move from there.

[royalbananafish.livejournal.com]

If you can discern "want" from "need," then you are already ahead of most people, my dear.

[qos.livejournal.com]

I appreciate that affirmation.