Fantasies

[qos]

I've been meaning to ask this for a couple of days: what is your most cherished fantasy? Or your wildest, most outrageous? What do you want to do, or be, or have that is so distant from your actual life right now that you might be scared to actually take it if offered? Or would you risk everything else if you thought you really, really had a chance to have this?

Anonymous posting always enabled.

Confide in me. . . .

Comments

It's a recurring fantasy...

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Having the romantic partner of my dreams: a man who cherishes me in all of my complexity and can enjoy me cherishing him without using my adoration to take advantage of me. And yes, that is so distant from my actual life that I might be scared to take it, if it appears to be offered to me. Trouble is, I was offered what I thought was that a few times, before, and every time I was wrong.

That is the one thing I would give up everything for. Except for my sense of self...I've had that demanded of me in exchange for that, before, and try as I did, it only made me miserable to attempt to comply. The guy left me in the end, anyway, because I didn't comply as well as he wanted.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

To be able to fly- without wings or mechanical aids- the way I sometimes can in dreams.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_storyteller_/]

I have been sitting here and thinking about the fantasy that I would really like to fulfill, the aspect that matters most, when I write myself into a book or tell a story, what I am trying to capture what I am hoping for. The first thing that came to mind was absolute self actualization, almost to the point of enlightenment. Knowing and being myself to the most extreme. The thing that I want to be most is myself, and sometimes I feel so far away from that. One of the most important aspects of this fantasy is that it doesn’t require anything to be given to me, or any external stimuli. The potential is within me, I just need to realize it.

Related to this is the superpower question, of if you could have a superpower what would it be? I have always had a couple of favorites, shape shifting being one, and strong telekinesis being another.

As for things that I wish I could do for the world, those kinds of fantasies mostly involve helping find a cure for cancer. This is very far from my life right now because I have little to no desire to study medicine at this point.

I have other fantasies right now that I cannot share from a work computer, my more erotic, ritualized fantasies. These are more common to me than other daydreams, but also less important to me than the self actualization listed above, some could be considered by others to be quite wild. Most often they hover around the books that I am reading at the time. Right now I have a lot of thoughts about bonds between individuals, servant/master relationships, student/teacher relationships and poly. . I would accept most of them if I could and at the same time I am slightly fearful, I would consider myself to have a healthy amount of reservation, even in my own mind.

[bbovenguy.livejournal.com]

I was actually fortunate enough to have lived my dream for a year. That's how long I got to write full-time. Now my dream is to do that again, and this time permanently.

And yet, even though my dream isn't all that distant from my actual life, I have been scared to take it. It doesn't fit with the "engineer good, writer bad" mentality that I grew up with. I've often felt like if God Himself appeared before me and said I was meant to be a writer, I'd still think that being "good" meant being an engineer. I've been doing much better lately, but it just goes to show that physical/practical limitations aren't the only things that can distance people from their dreams.

[queenofhalves]

i must be doing pretty well. i can't think of anything personal that i don't already have or am on my way to getting.

[toesontheground.livejournal.com]

Good questions once again from qos! Won't have time to answer until tonight.

[moonborn.livejournal.com]

To live from my writing, being a pro bellydancer on the side, doing a gig once or twice a fortnight.

[femalegamer.livejournal.com]

For someone who loves reading fiction so much, I have problems reaching for the stars, so I'll relate the just-barely-in-the-realm-of-possiblity:

I would love to work on Artificial Intelligence for a game. I know programmers on games work crappy hours, I would probably have to move to California or Texas, and it's even less likely after seven years of primarily writing in Ada on defensive contractor software...

[southernselkie.livejournal.com]

My fantasies in the past have been pretty extreme, but strangely enough, recently, the involve a wedding at the ocean, or in the woods with Daddy saying some words and just a few close people there. Life is funny, huh?

[toesontheground.livejournal.com]

Ok - I said I'd answer, and I've been avoiding it because of the harder questions! But i shall avoid those questions instead :)

I have zillions of fantasies, but they're mostly of little significance. I too, would like to be able to fly like in my dreams. I'd love to be able to teleport myself around the globe. There's a (very childish) part of me that'd like to time travel and turn up somewhere in the back of a whole bunch of famous photos of historical moments.

I wonder what it would be like to live another life - to be a person from a different country or time. Sometimes when I'm watching a movie, I get caught up with the background, and wish I could step in and walk off into that world and explore.

I have wondered what it would be like to be a woman making love, or of a lovemaking where the two became one and had access to each others emotions and sensations.

But my most frequent fantasies are very simple - to be hugging my dearest friends.

cherished fantasy

[professor-mom.livejournal.com]

My greatest fantasy is to have frequent personal meetings with god or gods, or angels. Sometimes I imagine God to be Jesus Christ or the Jewish God. Other times, God is the Divine Mother that is a mishmash of Mary and the Hindu Divine Mother. Other times God is Shiva the great destroyer or Pan, the most ancient source of all.

I loved the story of Joan of Arcadia and the Touched by an Angel and Highway to Heaven series for this reason.

I sometimes feel as though I can sense the presence of the Divine Mother within me.

Here's a song by the Waterboys which I love:

The Return of Pan

I stood upon the balcony with my brand new bride
The clink of bells came drifting down the mountainside
When in our sight, something moved
Lightning eyed and cloven hooved!
The Great God Pan is alive!

He moves amid the modern world in disguise
It's possible to look into his immortal eyes
He's like a man you'd meet anyplace
And did you recognise that ancient face?
The Great God Pan is alive!

At sea on a ship in a thunderstorm
On the very night that Christ was born
A sailor heared from overhead
A mighty voice cry, "Pan is dead!"
So follow Christ, as best you can,
Pan is dead! Long live Pan!

From the olden days and up through all the years
From Arcadia to the stone fields of Innishier.
Some say the Gods are just a myth,
But guess who i've been dancing with!
The Great God Pan is alive!

Re: cherished fantasy

[qos.livejournal.com]

I'm going to have to find a copy of that song. Thanks for sharing.

Welcome to my LJ. I just clicked over to yours and saw the less common interests we have in common.

I've friended you, and am looking forward to getting to know you better!

Re: cherished fantasy

[professor-mom.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And I liked this question so much that I "stole" it and used it in my own blog. I got a few good answers already. I'm enjoying your writing and your blog very much.

Re: cherished fantasy

[qos.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I've been enjoying your writing as well.

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

I've had to think on this. Several ideas came to mind, but when I burrowed into each of those fantasies to the most fervent wish at their core, it is about family. Being "adopted" by a mother, and a father - both healthier and more accessible and nurturing than my own - and to have siblings of either gender with whom I really feel a bond. Even as I learn to love what my parents and brother are and have been capable of giving me, I still long for something far richer and more attentive to my own needs.

The most logical way to get the whole package is to find a partner from a close and healthy family... but I never seem to be attracted to those people. And, as your question about fear reflects, I'm not sure how capable I'd be of accepting the gift of such a family if I found it.