Matching Baggage

[qos]

I posted a few days ago that I have come to feel that I am once again open to love. (I started feeling that way right before Miss V's dramatic shift --- which, again, I can't consider totally coincidental.)

Part of the process of reaching this point was seeing Rent back on Christmas Day. It didn't make that much of an impression at first. . . but as the days passed, I realized that one brief sequence kept replaying in my head:

Roger: No one's perfect. I've got baggage!
Mimi: Life's too short, babe. Time is flyin'
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine.

Baggage that goes with mine.

For the last three years or so, I've been so aware of being wounded, but these words helped me release a lot of that.

I'm 41 years old. I've had my share of intense relationships. I've been hurt. Those who loved me have been hurt. And what else should I expect after being alive and living with passion for the years that I have?

And the people who I might come to love, and who will love me, are the same way. We don't have to be perfectly healed, or deny our pasts, or be able to guarantee we'll never hurt or be hurt again. We don't even have to have "matching" baggage -- just baggage that "goes with." To be able to meet and connect and share and offer love and understanding.

It almost seems silly to type it here -- well, doh!
But it's hit me powerfully.

Maybe it's simply beginning to accept my own lack of perfection, as an individual and as a lover/partner.

Comments

[toesontheground.livejournal.com]

First of all Matching Baggage - what a great title for some sort of creative work (book/movie/play/sitcom)exploring the issues you talk about here!

Same prayer as always for you - may you find the love you need.

[iswari.livejournal.com]

That's so true!

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

I am so glad you posted about this. And not just for the vicarious joy that you've had such an epiphany.

It really does my heart good to read this. Just this week I've been feeling hopeless about long term relationships and how families screw everybody up, and asking God about health and keeping hold of my self and if that's possible while building a life with someone and how broken is too broken to be a good partner for me.

So, thanks for this to ponder on.

[queenofhalves]

rent is one of those movies that really feeds this kind of emotional work, i think. worked on me too. :>

[tailerouge.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's simply beginning to accept my own lack of perfection, as an individual and as a lover/partner.

Oh, yeah. A hard step, and an essential one. I'm still working on it.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

After my therapist and I talked about two broken people coming together in relationship (understanding that everyone is broken in some way) and growing more whole through loving and supporting each other, I felt a little less undeserving of love.

[rocket-jockey.livejournal.com]

I've had my share of intense relationships. I've been hurt. Those who loved me have been hurt. And what else should I expect after being alive and living with passion for the years that I have?

"Life is pain, Princess. Anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you something" - Dread Pirate Westley

[qos.livejournal.com]

Believe me, I've thought of that quotation frequently during this time!