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qosFirst, the disclaimer: My ex-husband is, in many respects, a lovely person: generous, kind, intelligent, and Just a Nice Guy. We share a duplex so we can truly have shared custody of Our Child, and most of the time we live in benign friendliness and co-operation, each in our own living space. We share occasional dinners, or get together for a family movie night (with my DVD collection or at a theater) with the Child, and treat each other with pleasant civility.
Now, the Rant: for some reason -- probably relating to his own disinclination to keep himself to anything like a schedule -- he seems to have a next-to-impossible time getting Our Child out of bed in the morning and to school on time. She is frequently 15 minutes to three hours late for school. His only explanation is "We both slept in."
Excuse me? He's a grown-up with a clock radio. It's his responsiblity to get The Child to school on time. If he can't wake up in time to get her to school, he needs to get to bed earlier so he can wake up in time. (He works out of a home office, and does not need to keep regular hours.)
Because I'm the primary parent on the school record forms, the secretaries call me when her "absent" card gets sent down. Most of those times, she's not really absent, she just got to school after attendance and neither she nor her teacher think to notify the office that she really is there.
I've had numerous conversations with the Ex about this, and he always sincerely promises to do better, but it just doesn't change. (This was one of the reasons I decided I did not want to be married to him any more: his frequent expressions of desire to change, followed by zero change.) (Not that I didn't contribute to the failure as well -- but that's a topic for confession, not a rant.)
This morning, per an agreement he and I made last week, I called him at 8:00am to make sure he was awake and moving. He was. Ten minutes ago, I got a call from the school: "I'm calling about L-'s absence."
Arrrggghhhh!!
I called the Ex, who assured me that she was indeed at school -- but apparently she was late enough to miss roll call again.
She is in second grade. All through kindergarten and first grade I got her to school on time, every day, unless she was sick. Millions of children get to school on time. But somehow my Ex isn't willing to set his clock back fifteen minutes, get up like a responsible adult, and make sure his child gets to school on time.
Arrrggghhh!!!
End rant.
Now, the Rant: for some reason -- probably relating to his own disinclination to keep himself to anything like a schedule -- he seems to have a next-to-impossible time getting Our Child out of bed in the morning and to school on time. She is frequently 15 minutes to three hours late for school. His only explanation is "We both slept in."
Excuse me? He's a grown-up with a clock radio. It's his responsiblity to get The Child to school on time. If he can't wake up in time to get her to school, he needs to get to bed earlier so he can wake up in time. (He works out of a home office, and does not need to keep regular hours.)
Because I'm the primary parent on the school record forms, the secretaries call me when her "absent" card gets sent down. Most of those times, she's not really absent, she just got to school after attendance and neither she nor her teacher think to notify the office that she really is there.
I've had numerous conversations with the Ex about this, and he always sincerely promises to do better, but it just doesn't change. (This was one of the reasons I decided I did not want to be married to him any more: his frequent expressions of desire to change, followed by zero change.) (Not that I didn't contribute to the failure as well -- but that's a topic for confession, not a rant.)
This morning, per an agreement he and I made last week, I called him at 8:00am to make sure he was awake and moving. He was. Ten minutes ago, I got a call from the school: "I'm calling about L-'s absence."
Arrrggghhhh!!
I called the Ex, who assured me that she was indeed at school -- but apparently she was late enough to miss roll call again.
She is in second grade. All through kindergarten and first grade I got her to school on time, every day, unless she was sick. Millions of children get to school on time. But somehow my Ex isn't willing to set his clock back fifteen minutes, get up like a responsible adult, and make sure his child gets to school on time.
Arrrggghhh!!!
End rant.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-01-27 12:59 pm (UTC)*wonders if QOS will understand Kiwi understatement and decides its safer to explain*
Is it in any way possible/feasible for your daughter to start becoming responsible for getting herself to school on time?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-01-27 01:19 pm (UTC)We live about 7 miles from school (and seven convoluted miles, at that) so she can't get herself there.
But giving her her own clock, so she can start getting herself up instead of depending on her dad, is probably a good idea.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-01-27 03:13 pm (UTC)