On the Pushing of Buttons

I just sent an email to my teacher in which I twice made reference to having "my buttons pushed." One context was pleasant: a writer friend producing erotic fiction that I find exceptionally arousing. The other was unpleasant: a list of the various factors about the Pomba Gira ritual at Pantheacon that I find stressful and challenging (late hour, fancy dress, unfamiliar environment, ambiguous expectations, etc.).

It occurred to me that part of being a priestess -- not to mention a fully mature adult -- is being aware of my buttons and being conscious about when and how they are being pushed and what the consequences are and whether or not I choose to be so reactive.

No, I don't have an answer about this just now. It's just something that I want to be more aware of. I've been reactive most of my life, and part of the deep work I've been doing over the past couple of years is becoming more choice-driven rather than reactive. The language in my email betrayed just how far I have to go in this area. . .