On the Pushing of Buttons

[qos]

I just sent an email to my teacher in which I twice made reference to having "my buttons pushed." One context was pleasant: a writer friend producing erotic fiction that I find exceptionally arousing. The other was unpleasant: a list of the various factors about the Pomba Gira ritual at Pantheacon that I find stressful and challenging (late hour, fancy dress, unfamiliar environment, ambiguous expectations, etc.).

It occurred to me that part of being a priestess -- not to mention a fully mature adult -- is being aware of my buttons and being conscious about when and how they are being pushed and what the consequences are and whether or not I choose to be so reactive.

No, I don't have an answer about this just now. It's just something that I want to be more aware of. I've been reactive most of my life, and part of the deep work I've been doing over the past couple of years is becoming more choice-driven rather than reactive. The language in my email betrayed just how far I have to go in this area. . .

Comments

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

I really resonate with this lesson you mention. While I can't speak to what you received from your own family, I find a deep lack of cultural models and training in such behavior, this being less reactive and more choice-driven.

Stealing your icon, btw. That rocks. :-)

[oakmouse]

Knowledge is the universal solvent.

And yes, you have progress yet to make, but don't lose sight of how far you've come!

[revpanthera.livejournal.com]

Ya know, the Pomba ritual has never done anything for me ... boring actually. Dressing up is requested but not really required. It's that getting in the mood thing. Also I'm not into being possessed nor being around those who participate in that activity. That energy is just unpleasant to me. And all the songs sound the same to me tho I know they're not the same. If you just want to dance and party its okay. As far as getting something ritual out of it, I haven't.

[revpanthera.livejournal.com]

p.s. - Come be a Fool with us at 9p Friday. That should at least be fun and we're doing a Spiral Dance too!