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May. 14th, 2008
Anniversaries
May. 14th, 2008 09:34 pmI went out for drinks after work this evening with three of the other women on my team.
Overall it was a good time. Except for the fact that all three of them have or had wedding anniversaries within a couple of weeks -- and, understandably, they were all enjoying talking about their plans.
And I could say nothing.
I sat there and listened and smiled and affirmed that it all sounded wonderful. And I tried not to let on that each new story felt like another wound in my heart. Each shared confidence reminded me of all I have lost, all that will never be.
On May 31st it will have been a year since Lohain's death.
That's the anniversary I'm preparing to observe.
The pain is less than it was, but it hasn't gone away.
The wound is not as raw, but there is still a hole in my life where he should be.
There's no need to rush things, he told me. We have plenty of time.
God, I want him back.
Overall it was a good time. Except for the fact that all three of them have or had wedding anniversaries within a couple of weeks -- and, understandably, they were all enjoying talking about their plans.
And I could say nothing.
I sat there and listened and smiled and affirmed that it all sounded wonderful. And I tried not to let on that each new story felt like another wound in my heart. Each shared confidence reminded me of all I have lost, all that will never be.
On May 31st it will have been a year since Lohain's death.
That's the anniversary I'm preparing to observe.
The pain is less than it was, but it hasn't gone away.
The wound is not as raw, but there is still a hole in my life where he should be.
There's no need to rush things, he told me. We have plenty of time.
God, I want him back.