More than Enough

My doctor is sending me to a GI specialist because the Prilosec is not eliminating my heartburn (which predates Lohain's death). In fact, the symptoms are getting worse.

Miss V is being a pain.

I still have a lot of packing to do, even though I'm not worried about getting it finished in time.

I sleep well but wake up tired.

I'm lonely.

I loathe my job today.

It was gorgeous earlier, when I parked three blocks away and left my jacket in the car, and now it's pouring down rain.

Today, I just want it all to stop, to go away.

Up Again

I need a roller coaster icon.

I didn't get rained on, but I felt pretty miserable driving home from work. However, a call with oakmouse helped a great deal. She has some marvelous insights -- on more than just the material plane -- and helped me get some perspective. Just hearing her warm, enthusiastic voice lifts my spirits.

Then _storyteller_ came over, and we had what felt like the first 'normal' evening we've had since uncrowned_king died. He cooked dinner, we talked about all kinds of things going on in our lives, and shared some hugs and backrubs. It was nice to be able to savor grown-up physical affection, not just child cuddles. It's sometimes a bit awkward finding the new balances and boundaries when a relationship shifts, but we're doing a pretty good job. I did cry several times, but it was (mostly) from release rather than grief. I've been the sole grownup in my home during several stressful weeks, and it was a huge relief to receive nurturing and be able to lean on someone else's energy for a while. I feel like my energy buffer has been renewed; the world doesn't feel as spiky and sharp-edged as it has.

To top things off, my parents went out scouting today for a new loft bed for my daughter, whose current bed has become a bit rickety. They found the perfect set (they sent photos), and will be taking the daughter out to see it tomorrow. Evidently it could probably be delivered to the new place on Monday. They volunteered to pay for it, but I can afford to do so, and I'm insisting on doing it. They've done so much to support us over the years, and I've needed it. But I've got sufficient resources now, and it feels good to be able to say "No thanks, I can take care of it."

So I'm feeling much more peaceful and balanced than I was this afternoon.

Now if I can only figure out where we hid the big tape gun. . . .