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This is an entry I might usually filter due to spiritual content, but I'm going to go ahead and leave it open because I'm tired of having so few posts of substance lately. If spirituality, or alternative spirituality, isn't your bag, feel free to skip what's below.
A couple of weeks ago, Kim, my shamanic teacher, emailed me an invitation to meet with her and a few other of her students about a Shamanic Healing Center she wants to start. My impression was that those of us being invited were being offered the opportunity to study specifically to become practitioners at the center, which I took as a signficant honor, since I've only been studying with her for six months or so.
She invited us to "journey on the possibility" prior to the meeting, which meant that she was suggesting we each do a shamanic journey, consulting our otherworldly allies about whether or not this was something that would be a good idea for us.
( Cut for length )
So there was no help from my allies that night.
But then I started thinking If I'm focusing right now on agency, why am I journeying like this? Why am I asking someone else? (Even if it could be argued that the "someone else" is actually an aspect of my own self.) What do I think? What do I want?
Because the issue about my participation in the Shamanic Healing Center is also about whether I want to focus my time and energy on shamanic practice or on spiritual direction.
And I realized, rather quickly, once I felt like I was getting the question right, that if I were to commit to the center, I would be focusing on Kim's dream instead of my own. Just as twice before I have been caught up in B's dreams, and supporting his entreprenuerial work, instead of working on my own. (Ok, part of the reason there was that I didn't have a dream of my own then, but the comparison still has some validity.)
Yes, I have a degree of shamanic ability. And it is a rich practice that I can certainly continue to develop and explore. But I don't have any sense that it's my Work. But when I talk or think about being a spiritual director/companion to those outside of traditional spiritual paths, I feel the all-too-rare-these-days passion rising in me. I get excited. I can hear my voice change, feel the energy surging in my body. That doesn't happen when I talk/think about shamanic practice.
It has occurred to me that the clients who come to Kim's center might be just the kind of people who would be interested in what I have to offer as a spiritual director. Perhaps we will find synergy between our dreams, do mutual referrals when appropriate, or something like that. That would be great.
But I am beyond the days of needing to serve the dreams of others in order to have direction in my own life. I have my own dreams, and my own work to do. The task now is to be enough of an agent to make them happen.
A couple of weeks ago, Kim, my shamanic teacher, emailed me an invitation to meet with her and a few other of her students about a Shamanic Healing Center she wants to start. My impression was that those of us being invited were being offered the opportunity to study specifically to become practitioners at the center, which I took as a signficant honor, since I've only been studying with her for six months or so.
She invited us to "journey on the possibility" prior to the meeting, which meant that she was suggesting we each do a shamanic journey, consulting our otherworldly allies about whether or not this was something that would be a good idea for us.
( Cut for length )
So there was no help from my allies that night.
But then I started thinking If I'm focusing right now on agency, why am I journeying like this? Why am I asking someone else? (Even if it could be argued that the "someone else" is actually an aspect of my own self.) What do I think? What do I want?
Because the issue about my participation in the Shamanic Healing Center is also about whether I want to focus my time and energy on shamanic practice or on spiritual direction.
And I realized, rather quickly, once I felt like I was getting the question right, that if I were to commit to the center, I would be focusing on Kim's dream instead of my own. Just as twice before I have been caught up in B's dreams, and supporting his entreprenuerial work, instead of working on my own. (Ok, part of the reason there was that I didn't have a dream of my own then, but the comparison still has some validity.)
Yes, I have a degree of shamanic ability. And it is a rich practice that I can certainly continue to develop and explore. But I don't have any sense that it's my Work. But when I talk or think about being a spiritual director/companion to those outside of traditional spiritual paths, I feel the all-too-rare-these-days passion rising in me. I get excited. I can hear my voice change, feel the energy surging in my body. That doesn't happen when I talk/think about shamanic practice.
It has occurred to me that the clients who come to Kim's center might be just the kind of people who would be interested in what I have to offer as a spiritual director. Perhaps we will find synergy between our dreams, do mutual referrals when appropriate, or something like that. That would be great.
But I am beyond the days of needing to serve the dreams of others in order to have direction in my own life. I have my own dreams, and my own work to do. The task now is to be enough of an agent to make them happen.
