(no subject)

I hate going to bed on time and waking up tired and fuzzy-brained the next morning. I think it's the delayed reaction to staying up until 1:30am Saturday night/Sunday morning.

Miss Vicki will be back in the office today after being gone for her week of vacation, and I'm not particularly looking forward to it. Before she left, she put together a new seating arrangement for our floor, but failed - it seems - to talk with any of the managers about their needs or concerns. Thus, departments which work closely together have been split up, and room has not been left for new hires coming on board within the next month. Of course, none of this was discovered until she released the new plan within hours of leaving on vacation.

SO. . . one of the first things I get to do this morning is let her know about this, and tell her that my boss wants her to re-do the floorplan, and the other direct reports to her own boss concur. They were going to ask me to do it, but our facilities director told them that Miss V was in possession of some data that needed to be taken into account, but she wasn't sure what that data was.

I'm not looking forward to that conversation. Even Jeannie, last Friday, said, "Yes, it is going to be unpleasant. We'll just have to remember to take our Valium on Monday morning and just get through it." And she did mean "we." She finds Miss V twitchy too, and also feels the pressure of needing to get along with her boss's admin. Nice to know it's not just me.

As I write this, I am reminded of my Vulcan resolultion. I need to simply have the conversation, get it over with, and remain emotionally detached from whatever reaction Miss V has. It is not important enough to get stressed out over.

Plan B

When emotional detachment doesn't work, a ten minute walk around the neighborhood on a sunny day can be very helpful in resisting the urge to scream and throw something at a nemesis.

Vicki and I had been doing so well for about a month. And today - POW!

Several months ago, we agreed that I would take ownership of the new department newsletter. I have done so. But she got bent out of shape when I scheduled a meeting between her boss (the VP, my boss's boss) and my newsletter team during the week she was on vacation. And today I received an email from her boss about the newsletter that listed Vicki first in the newsletter team. The Enterprise Communications Director who I am working with also includes her in the cc's of all his emails. But Vicki had never said anything to me about playing any kind of role in the newsletter process.

So I sent her an email today: What do you understand your role to be in this project? [. . .] Please let me know, so I can make sure you get what you need.

Her reponse: [My VP] wants me to be involved so I will assume the same role as you

Excuse me? My role is Project Lead. I am the one organizing the writers, acting as general editor, meeting with the creative group, and acting as the liaison with the Enterprise Communications Director. This is not a role two people can do without creating an absolute hairball. There needs to be one lead. If she wants the job, she can have it. But she can not simply "assume" my role.

If it wasn't Miss Vicki, with the history we have (not to mention the morning we were having!), I wouldn't have reacted so strongly. But as it was. . . All I could do was stare at her email on the screen and grind my teeth. I was simply overwhelmed with anger. (Being extra tired this morning and slightly queasy from a poor breakfast choice didn't help matters.)

So I simply got up from my desk, walked downstairs and out of the building and kept walking. It took a while to get calmed down and centered, but I eventually managed. Before I emailed my response, I told Jeannie what I was doing and that I was going to cc her on my response. She asked me to wait, and said that she would talk with Vicki's VP to get clarity on her desire for Vicki's involvement. It was great to have her support, but I also felt abruptly disempowered, because I had used my walk time to gather my composure and compose a firm but polite response, and now I was not going to be able to send it. Jeannie had taken my initiative away from me.

At the end of the day I checked in with Jeannie to find out what - if anything - she had learned, and found out that she hadn't had a chance to talk with the VP. I told her Miss Vicki had asked to talk with me tomorrow about the newsletter. "Just push back on the subject of ownership," she instructed me. "Either you own it or she does." I think she's going to try to find out more this afternoon.

Vicki pushed all my buttons this morning, and I know she wasn't too pleased with me either.

Now I have to let all the frustration go, remind myself that it's not important enough to stress about, and start again tomorrow.