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qosFriday evening was the holiday pageant for my daughter's afterschool day care. The HLCC is primarily a daycare center, but they have an afterschool program for elementary students, most of whom attended HLCC as preschoolers. As a second-grader, my daughter, The Little Princess (TLP), is one of the eldest of these "Earthlings."
TLP's part was to be one of three narrators for "The Mitten," while the other Earthlings (kindergarteners) acted it out. She has been resisting reading, but during the past month or so, it's as if a switch has clicked inside her head. Her proficiency is greatly improved, and she's enjoying it more. I'm suspecting that practicing the same text over and over helped her confidence level.
Friday evening she was dressed in a black velvet, knee-length dress with a red rosette, black tights, and black boots. With her pageboy of blonde hair, she looked lovely. We were early, and I had plenty of time to watch her interact with the younger children -- which she did with sweetness and affection. It was a real jolt to see her as the "older" kid.
The grown-ups wanted to do a microphone check, and called her up to the stage. I had another jolt as I saw her standing there: lovely, poisted, serious, her head half-tilted as she listened to the grown-ups' directions. We joke about her being a princess, but at that moment she really looked like one. I love my daughter and am proud of her, but for those moments I was awed by the promise in her.
Hearing her own voice over the microphone startled and unnerved her, and for a while she wasn't sure she wanted to continue -- but she also had a sense of how important her part was, and she didn't want to let anyone down. I promised her that if during the actual performance she got up there and tried to read, but was too scared, she could call me and I would come up with her, but she had to try it by herself first. That reassured her -- as did thinking about Princess Leia.
She was nervous when she first got up there, but she had her two co-narrators with her, and that helped. Her stage fright lasted maybe 35 seconds, then she was fine. She did a great job!
After the show, one of the other students' mothers asked if I knew that TLP was a peacemaker. "When Daniel and Felix get into a fight, she's always right there, suggesting that they do something else, or trying to get them to apologize to each other. And she's usually successful."
No, I hadn't known that -- but I was very pleased and proud to hear about it! On the way home in the car, I repeated the conversation to TLP, and told her how proud I was of her. To my surprise, she replied seriously, "I want to be a peacemaker when I grow up." (To put this in perspective, her goal for the last year or so has been to become "an animal rescue worker.")
"That would be wonderful," I replied. "The world needs a lot of peacemakers."
"I want to go out onto a battlefield and make peace," she went on seriously -- startling me again. Then she said that she would like to teach other children to be peacemakers.
When she said that she would "force" people to make peace, I cautioned her that that would cause other problems, and be a different kind of violence. "You need to help people make peace, make peace with them, not make them make peace. Do you understand that?"
She acknowledged that she did.
I was absolutely blown away by my kid Friday night.
TLP's part was to be one of three narrators for "The Mitten," while the other Earthlings (kindergarteners) acted it out. She has been resisting reading, but during the past month or so, it's as if a switch has clicked inside her head. Her proficiency is greatly improved, and she's enjoying it more. I'm suspecting that practicing the same text over and over helped her confidence level.
Friday evening she was dressed in a black velvet, knee-length dress with a red rosette, black tights, and black boots. With her pageboy of blonde hair, she looked lovely. We were early, and I had plenty of time to watch her interact with the younger children -- which she did with sweetness and affection. It was a real jolt to see her as the "older" kid.
The grown-ups wanted to do a microphone check, and called her up to the stage. I had another jolt as I saw her standing there: lovely, poisted, serious, her head half-tilted as she listened to the grown-ups' directions. We joke about her being a princess, but at that moment she really looked like one. I love my daughter and am proud of her, but for those moments I was awed by the promise in her.
Hearing her own voice over the microphone startled and unnerved her, and for a while she wasn't sure she wanted to continue -- but she also had a sense of how important her part was, and she didn't want to let anyone down. I promised her that if during the actual performance she got up there and tried to read, but was too scared, she could call me and I would come up with her, but she had to try it by herself first. That reassured her -- as did thinking about Princess Leia.
She was nervous when she first got up there, but she had her two co-narrators with her, and that helped. Her stage fright lasted maybe 35 seconds, then she was fine. She did a great job!
After the show, one of the other students' mothers asked if I knew that TLP was a peacemaker. "When Daniel and Felix get into a fight, she's always right there, suggesting that they do something else, or trying to get them to apologize to each other. And she's usually successful."
No, I hadn't known that -- but I was very pleased and proud to hear about it! On the way home in the car, I repeated the conversation to TLP, and told her how proud I was of her. To my surprise, she replied seriously, "I want to be a peacemaker when I grow up." (To put this in perspective, her goal for the last year or so has been to become "an animal rescue worker.")
"That would be wonderful," I replied. "The world needs a lot of peacemakers."
"I want to go out onto a battlefield and make peace," she went on seriously -- startling me again. Then she said that she would like to teach other children to be peacemakers.
When she said that she would "force" people to make peace, I cautioned her that that would cause other problems, and be a different kind of violence. "You need to help people make peace, make peace with them, not make them make peace. Do you understand that?"
She acknowledged that she did.
I was absolutely blown away by my kid Friday night.
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Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-15 11:36 am (UTC)I'm genuinely fascinated by the fondness of intelligent, independent and presumably feminist women for the terminology of royalty and class priviledge.
Is it about "mythologising" one's own life? Is it a kind of reversal of the gender/class expectations embedded in the language (I mean I try to imagine calling myself - on lj - "kingof..." or describing a son as "the litte prince" - and it doesn't seem quite right)? Or is it just fun words I shouldn't read too much into?
Like I say, I'm genuinely curious - this isn't a criticism.
Barry
Re: Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-15 12:18 pm (UTC)but of course, this only makes sense in a world where there's still class privilege. the way we use those words is a product of what i hope is a transition to a less hierarchical society.
Re: Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-15 08:58 pm (UTC)Re: Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-15 09:33 pm (UTC)Just before signing up with Yahoo, I'd read something suggesting I should have a personal mission statement. I thought yuck, I'd rather have a personal aphorism (I was also re-reading Walden at the time). Playing with (my) TOES, I came up with something like toes on the ground, heart on my sleeve, spirit in the heavens Of course I didn't want to write all that out, so it became toesontheground and I decided to stick with that when
:,)
Re: Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-16 08:05 am (UTC)1. i like dichotomies, especially messing with them.
2. shortly after i started my journal, my friends shaved half my head. i had it that way -- long on one side, buzzed on the other -- for almost a year.
3. the queen of halves is a title of a character from one of my favorite comics, thieves and kings. here she is in my userpic. :>
Re: Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-16 09:20 am (UTC)I Have To Ask. . .
Date: 2003-12-16 10:45 am (UTC)Re: I Have To Ask. . .
Date: 2003-12-16 12:53 pm (UTC)it was at the after-party on my wedding day. i'd been planning to shave it for a while, but i wanted hair for my wedding pictures.
Re: Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-15 08:56 pm (UTC)As for myself: part of it is about mythologizing life, at least in my case. But I've also had a rather different sense of "royalty" than most people in my culture.
I can't explain it, but from a very young age, I was aware of, and focusing on, the mythic/sacred aspects of royalty: things like the king sacrifice, the hieros gamos, the whole idea that the sovereign was the pivot point between the people and the Divine -- and that it was a perilous position, was something that felt familiar and right to me. I saw royalty as a position of ultimate privelege and ultimate responsibility.
I grew up in a mill town, in which I often felt like I was very different from those around me. Unlike a lot of "brains," however, I was never mocked or teased. I wasn't one of the popular crowd, but I was respected, and - I think - generally liked. I was slightly apart from the crowd, but accepted by it.
The "royalty" business really did start with "Star Wars" and the sudden, frequent statement by those around me that I reminded them of Princess Leia -- and they meant it as a compliment. Since then, I've had people repeat that to me again and again, and spontaneously label me "princess" or "queen" in other contexts as well. It felt right -- not because I identified with Cinderella, or Princess Diana, or even QEI -- but because when I read the mythology of the ancient Near East and Britain (particularly versions of the Camelot myth in which Guinevere is a strong, sacred woman), it resonated with me.
Now, it has a lot to do with striving toward full adulthood, full sovereignty over my own life, and being fully responsible for my domain: the physical/material aspects of life I would just as soon not worry about as I pursue my academic and spiritual interests.
It's also about affirming that there is something that is both wondrous and real within me. It's there in everyone, but this is the language and symbolism which speaks to me.
Does this make any sense?
Feel free to ask additional questions if you'd like!
Re: Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-15 09:37 pm (UTC)If you look at my friends list you'll see
Re: Lords, ladies, and vassals
Date: 2003-12-16 05:36 am (UTC)I've been a storyteller most of my life. It's second nature for me to explain myself in terms of stories, whether it's relating stories about my past, finding meaning in stories/myths, or using archetypes to help clarify issues.
Oddly enough, I had a dream last night in which I shared my personal story with a group, and there was some confusion shortly after that about whether I had done the "tell your story/introduce yourself" assignment or the "share my gifts" assignment. I said that storytelling *was* one of my gifts, and that the two answers would have been the same.
I had noticed the other queens on your friends list as well! You seem to keep exalted company! ;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-15 12:19 pm (UTC)but not yet! ;>
(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-16 06:17 am (UTC)I became pregnant during spring term of my second year of grad school, and took a one year leave of absence beginning that fall. If my own mother hadn't lived nearby and been willing to take care of The Child while I went to class, it would have been even more difficult than it was.
But there's never a "convenient" time for a professional woman to have a child. I decided to do it during school because I could take a long leave of absence without derailing myself completely.
It took me a long time to adjust to motherhood, and I still look at my daughter sometimes and wonder "Where did you come from, and what are you doing in my life?" -- but she is a blessing.