A Chat With Dad

[qos]

He confirmed that he is concerned about my path right now, but the concern stems mostly from the fact that I'm in a small and little-known denomination with a strange name, and he is pessimistic about my being able to actually make a living as a minister. Which is a valid concern, and something which occupies my own thoughts as well. If my congregation does not both a) survive through the next couple of years, and b) mutually decide with me that I would be a good successor to our current pastor, I'm going to have to look in another state to find a full-time pastoring job. And I really don't want to move away from here.

Dad also acknowledged some tension between my path and his own current spiritual situation, which he described as something of a "second crisis." He doesn't think I'm doing something wrong in becoming a minister, but his own spiritual life is in a very different place. He didn't go into details, and since we were talking on the phone I didn't press him. But it was enough to confirm my instinct.

We each said a few things that I thought were important: his affirmation that he loves and supports me, even when he worries about me; that it's okay for me to talk to him about my course content (I had worried that he didn't want to deal with theological stuff at all); my acknowledgement to him that even if I pursue and achieve my degree I don't have to go into the ministry (although that's my plan right now); and my statement to him that his good opinion means more to me than anyone else's. I got a bit teary by the end, which made him a bit uncomfortable (mostly in a nice way).

It was good to get the issues into the open.

Comments

[toesontheground.livejournal.com]

That sounds nice, in that raw kind of way.

[gothic-coop.livejournal.com]

To me are sounds like he showed care and concern for his daughter. You are grown women with a life and a family. You have your own spiritual path that you follow that is different than his. This may scare him some do to the fact (this is a big guess on my part) that he is still searching for his own spiritual path. For some reasons fathers are always concerned about financial stability in the children. I am sure he can talk to you in a very analytical way about theology, but I would not be surprised if it strikes some very heated discussions. Dads' always love their children. It is rare that the don't.

[queenofhalves]

sounds like a really satisfying conversation. glad it went so well.