![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosSometimes the simplest things are the hardest for me to grasp.
This morning I read What Would Buffy Do? - The Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide, which was a surprisingly charming and insightful book.
It was also very timely for me.
For the past several years -- and rather intensely during the past couple of weeks -- I've been wrestling with frustration about the whole incarnation gig. As a Queen of Swords, I have a tendency to the abstract, grounding into my body primarily in the area of sexuality, but generally not paying much attention to the physical. Add to this bias the intense pain of my grief over LM's death and my frustration with my day jobs for the past ten years, and living here on earth just hasn't seemed like a particularly desireable way to spend time.
My teacher has tried to explain that incarnate life is where we learn and mature, engaging in the Great Work of soul development and ascend the Tree of Life, but I've really been resisting the idea that there are not other ways and places to learn that are equally valid, ways that don't involve such much wretchedness (and I write that very aware of my privilege). I've wanted to be rid of the mortal coil, reuninte with my soulmate, and not have to worry about punching a clock to earn the money I need to keep myself and my daughter supplied with the material necessities of life.
My teacher hasn't been the only one with this message. A couple of nights ago I was listening to a CD by Dolores Ashcroft-Nowicki, who made the point that the Western Way of esotericism is one of engagement in the world. Tau Malachi, the Christian Gnostic teacher I've been reading, also points out that our spiritual growth happens in the context of our everyday lives, not just meditation. My aching desire to at least retreat to an isolated cave somewhere was not receiving support anywhere.
So what does this have to do with a cult tv show and a perhaps gimmicky spin-off book?
Author Jana Reiss illustrates her various points with numerous examples from the series. By the time I finished the book, it wasn't the specific themes and values she discussed but the overall context which was making the most powerful impression. Over seven years, the Scoobys go through a lot of changes, wrestle with internal darkness as well as external enemies, have to forgive, grow, grieve, change, sacrifce. . . And they do it not as isolated individuals meditating on abstract values, but within a matrix of family, friends, and community. They mature, grow wiser, grow stronger because of their active involvement with all that life throws at them.
Suddenly everything that my teacher has been trying to explain to me made sense. Staggeringly simple, obvious sense.
There probably are other places we can learn and grow, but I suspect most of them are as vulnerable to pain and suffering as this one -- because, unfortunately, that's a big part of how we learn and grow. And, as the enlightened ones of many paths point out: when one achieves a sufficient level of enlightenment to shake free of the struggle, it usually comes with a profound compassion that compels one to remain in the thick of life and help others along.
So once again I get smacked with a clue-by-four and end up feeling like the slowest student in class.
But I really wasn't getting it before.
This morning I read What Would Buffy Do? - The Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide, which was a surprisingly charming and insightful book.
It was also very timely for me.
For the past several years -- and rather intensely during the past couple of weeks -- I've been wrestling with frustration about the whole incarnation gig. As a Queen of Swords, I have a tendency to the abstract, grounding into my body primarily in the area of sexuality, but generally not paying much attention to the physical. Add to this bias the intense pain of my grief over LM's death and my frustration with my day jobs for the past ten years, and living here on earth just hasn't seemed like a particularly desireable way to spend time.
My teacher has tried to explain that incarnate life is where we learn and mature, engaging in the Great Work of soul development and ascend the Tree of Life, but I've really been resisting the idea that there are not other ways and places to learn that are equally valid, ways that don't involve such much wretchedness (and I write that very aware of my privilege). I've wanted to be rid of the mortal coil, reuninte with my soulmate, and not have to worry about punching a clock to earn the money I need to keep myself and my daughter supplied with the material necessities of life.
My teacher hasn't been the only one with this message. A couple of nights ago I was listening to a CD by Dolores Ashcroft-Nowicki, who made the point that the Western Way of esotericism is one of engagement in the world. Tau Malachi, the Christian Gnostic teacher I've been reading, also points out that our spiritual growth happens in the context of our everyday lives, not just meditation. My aching desire to at least retreat to an isolated cave somewhere was not receiving support anywhere.
So what does this have to do with a cult tv show and a perhaps gimmicky spin-off book?
Author Jana Reiss illustrates her various points with numerous examples from the series. By the time I finished the book, it wasn't the specific themes and values she discussed but the overall context which was making the most powerful impression. Over seven years, the Scoobys go through a lot of changes, wrestle with internal darkness as well as external enemies, have to forgive, grow, grieve, change, sacrifce. . . And they do it not as isolated individuals meditating on abstract values, but within a matrix of family, friends, and community. They mature, grow wiser, grow stronger because of their active involvement with all that life throws at them.
Suddenly everything that my teacher has been trying to explain to me made sense. Staggeringly simple, obvious sense.
There probably are other places we can learn and grow, but I suspect most of them are as vulnerable to pain and suffering as this one -- because, unfortunately, that's a big part of how we learn and grow. And, as the enlightened ones of many paths point out: when one achieves a sufficient level of enlightenment to shake free of the struggle, it usually comes with a profound compassion that compels one to remain in the thick of life and help others along.
So once again I get smacked with a clue-by-four and end up feeling like the slowest student in class.
But I really wasn't getting it before.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-14 09:01 am (UTC)Gotta love the clue-by-fours, and wisdom can be found in the unlikeliest places it seems too. Go Buffy! *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-14 10:41 am (UTC)Clue by fours are part and parcel of the process. So are epiphanies like this one.
Excellent! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-14 01:01 pm (UTC):)
We know how well that desire gets served. All the greatest moments of growth I've ever had have happened when I felt life could not get worse and I could not do anything but suffer. No way out, no way through, oh, look, I survived, and I learned.
Darnit. ;P
Sometimes I still want my cave though.
You know, half for the contemplation...
...half for the uninterrupted sleep.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-14 01:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-15 08:01 am (UTC)Joss is worthy...