Youthful Insight, Adult Smugness
Feb. 27th, 2010 06:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI spent most of today visiting in two very different situations and having very different spiritually-flavored experiences.
In the morning I went to the home of a former work colleague for a light lunch and conversation. Her two young sons (maybe 6 and 8 years old?) joined us for lunch and while we were gathered it came up that later in the afternoon I was going to attend a "Gathering of Goddesses" -- which in this case was a group of women friends who once attended the same small chuch together. My friend asked her sons if they understood what a goddess was. They had been reading Greek myths and so had been exposed to the idea of polytheism and goddesses. My friend asked them if they remembered the names of any of the gods. One of them was able to come up with Zeus, Poseidon and Hades, and correctly identified their realms of power.
What followed then was an absolutely amazing conversation with the older of the two boys about his ideas about who/what god was, what I did with Ereshkigal, his grief over his grandparents' deaths, my sharing about the person I loved who had died about the same time, and his expression of belief that we could still talk to the dead and they could even sometimes touch us. This family does not have a formal religious affiliation or set of beliefs, so it was particularly moving to witness the impulsive, natural spirituality of this young person.
Afterward his mother said that maybe I had a vocation teaching kids about spirituality. I'm not so sure, but I was grateful that it went as well as it did. I was trying very hard to be age appropriate, to speak to the boy with respect without talking over his head.
The next experience was not nearly as satisfying. In fact, I was so appalled I almost got up and left.
During the Goddess Gathering, the conversation turned to the media. One woman is a confessed news junkie and another, who is all excited about how she has put "the power of positive thinking" to work in her life started talking about how she has just unplugged from the media, especially the news because it's so negative. I don't have a problem with that. However, she went on to say that nothing on the news had any real impact on or meaning to her life. "My life is pretty much the same as it was when Bush was in office. None of it matters. All this stuff about the economy being in trouble. . . I'm not in trouble. . . "
I sat there and stared at her. Millions of people are unemployed. There is Iraq. There is Afghanistan. There are other wars, famines, Haiti, AIDS, injustices of every kind. And none of it matters because it doesn't touch her?? When I said this, she tried to backpedal saying that of course it was real and mattered, but she couldn't do anything about it, so she saw no reason to watch the news and have it pushing all its negativity on her.
Evidently this woman's health has improved dramtically in the last year, as has her relationship with her husband and her overall satisfaction with her life. She's "experiencing bliss on a regular basis." If she's seen benefit from changing her thoughts, good for her.
But how appallingly, unbearably smug that she sit there in her expensive outfit, and her big diamond solitaire pendant, her freedom not to hold a job because of her husband's job and her inherited wealth, and say that paying attention to the hurt and suffering of the world isn't something that really touches her.
I confess that I hide from it myself. I feel far too small to have any appreciable impact. It's saddening and it's scary and it's overwhelming. But that just means I need to grow bigger, to find more ways to have an impact in whatever way I can. It's not an excuse to close my eyes and pretend that it's not going on because it doesn't touch me.
This is the problem I have with books like Pronoia, however much I love Rob Brezny's horoscopes. The power of positive thinking only takes you so far. I'm pretty darn sure that this woman's blithe assertion that "you have to spend money to receive more money" wouldn't go over well with the millions of people who have lost their jobs, lost their homes, are suffering for lack of healthcare, or are simply strugling to find any food at all for their families. It's not going to mean anything to the people starving across the world or dying of AIDS or other diseases. It's a feel-good gospel for already affluent people. I'm not saying that it doesn't contain important, truthful lessons that can help transform lives -- but I don't see it addressing the reality of evil and suffering and pain in the world.
I keep coming back to dynamic balance. Yes, do focus on the positive, repeat your affirmations, envision a better future, shut down negative self-talk -- but also remember that it is the responsibility of those who have to reach out and help those who have not. You don't have to martyr yourself, just open your eyes, see, and let your pain lead you to take compassionate action -- whatever it is that is within your power. Don't just stick your fingers in your ears because "La-La-La it's nothing to do with me."
This is something I strugle with. I am convicted by my own words, my own limitations. My own fear of not having enough for myself and my daughter, much less enough to share with others. But may the gods give me the strength to not turn away from the suffering of others, and to do what I can to help alleviate it, whether through financial/material support, or prayer, or the touch of a loving hand.
Let me never say "It has nothing to do with me."
In the morning I went to the home of a former work colleague for a light lunch and conversation. Her two young sons (maybe 6 and 8 years old?) joined us for lunch and while we were gathered it came up that later in the afternoon I was going to attend a "Gathering of Goddesses" -- which in this case was a group of women friends who once attended the same small chuch together. My friend asked her sons if they understood what a goddess was. They had been reading Greek myths and so had been exposed to the idea of polytheism and goddesses. My friend asked them if they remembered the names of any of the gods. One of them was able to come up with Zeus, Poseidon and Hades, and correctly identified their realms of power.
What followed then was an absolutely amazing conversation with the older of the two boys about his ideas about who/what god was, what I did with Ereshkigal, his grief over his grandparents' deaths, my sharing about the person I loved who had died about the same time, and his expression of belief that we could still talk to the dead and they could even sometimes touch us. This family does not have a formal religious affiliation or set of beliefs, so it was particularly moving to witness the impulsive, natural spirituality of this young person.
Afterward his mother said that maybe I had a vocation teaching kids about spirituality. I'm not so sure, but I was grateful that it went as well as it did. I was trying very hard to be age appropriate, to speak to the boy with respect without talking over his head.
The next experience was not nearly as satisfying. In fact, I was so appalled I almost got up and left.
During the Goddess Gathering, the conversation turned to the media. One woman is a confessed news junkie and another, who is all excited about how she has put "the power of positive thinking" to work in her life started talking about how she has just unplugged from the media, especially the news because it's so negative. I don't have a problem with that. However, she went on to say that nothing on the news had any real impact on or meaning to her life. "My life is pretty much the same as it was when Bush was in office. None of it matters. All this stuff about the economy being in trouble. . . I'm not in trouble. . . "
I sat there and stared at her. Millions of people are unemployed. There is Iraq. There is Afghanistan. There are other wars, famines, Haiti, AIDS, injustices of every kind. And none of it matters because it doesn't touch her?? When I said this, she tried to backpedal saying that of course it was real and mattered, but she couldn't do anything about it, so she saw no reason to watch the news and have it pushing all its negativity on her.
Evidently this woman's health has improved dramtically in the last year, as has her relationship with her husband and her overall satisfaction with her life. She's "experiencing bliss on a regular basis." If she's seen benefit from changing her thoughts, good for her.
But how appallingly, unbearably smug that she sit there in her expensive outfit, and her big diamond solitaire pendant, her freedom not to hold a job because of her husband's job and her inherited wealth, and say that paying attention to the hurt and suffering of the world isn't something that really touches her.
I confess that I hide from it myself. I feel far too small to have any appreciable impact. It's saddening and it's scary and it's overwhelming. But that just means I need to grow bigger, to find more ways to have an impact in whatever way I can. It's not an excuse to close my eyes and pretend that it's not going on because it doesn't touch me.
This is the problem I have with books like Pronoia, however much I love Rob Brezny's horoscopes. The power of positive thinking only takes you so far. I'm pretty darn sure that this woman's blithe assertion that "you have to spend money to receive more money" wouldn't go over well with the millions of people who have lost their jobs, lost their homes, are suffering for lack of healthcare, or are simply strugling to find any food at all for their families. It's not going to mean anything to the people starving across the world or dying of AIDS or other diseases. It's a feel-good gospel for already affluent people. I'm not saying that it doesn't contain important, truthful lessons that can help transform lives -- but I don't see it addressing the reality of evil and suffering and pain in the world.
I keep coming back to dynamic balance. Yes, do focus on the positive, repeat your affirmations, envision a better future, shut down negative self-talk -- but also remember that it is the responsibility of those who have to reach out and help those who have not. You don't have to martyr yourself, just open your eyes, see, and let your pain lead you to take compassionate action -- whatever it is that is within your power. Don't just stick your fingers in your ears because "La-La-La it's nothing to do with me."
This is something I strugle with. I am convicted by my own words, my own limitations. My own fear of not having enough for myself and my daughter, much less enough to share with others. But may the gods give me the strength to not turn away from the suffering of others, and to do what I can to help alleviate it, whether through financial/material support, or prayer, or the touch of a loving hand.
Let me never say "It has nothing to do with me."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-28 07:33 am (UTC)John Donne had it right all along, but our society has become so very "me-oriented" that for many people it's much easier just to look the other way and say it has nothing to do with them, than to take the time or spend the money to do something for someone else that won't necessarily benefit them personally.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-28 02:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 05:33 pm (UTC)And I don't have stock in Kleenex, either. Bummer... ;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-28 08:23 am (UTC)is very different from neopagan spirituality), and the fact that their spirituality came along with a heavy dose of entitlement and disregard for others. I remember a New Age shop I walked by regularly in the late 80s, which had in the window several books that seemed to be about how being a selfish rich greedy yuppie either didn't need to get in the way of your spirituality & in at least one case, how your material success was a mark of your spiritual progress. Yuck.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-28 02:11 pm (UTC)Absolutely! Can't say anything else cos I'm too mad about her attitude, and those like her. I tried to respond but it turned into a rant biggly time, so I've dumped it.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-28 08:14 pm (UTC)Gah!!!!!
*shakes head*
Also, very good on you for your conversation with your friend's son. Kids need that sort of sensible, matter-of-fact discussion of the aspects of life that are currently unacceptable to discuss in a science-based society.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-28 09:50 pm (UTC)