Surprises / Ritual To-Do
Sep. 26th, 2009 10:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI had some very surprising things come up in last night's meditation, having to do with the gendered nature of certain energies -- at least as I experience them -- and how they relate to my personal power and sovereignty. More on that as I work through it.
In the latter part of that meditation session I realized that I need to do a power reclaiming ritual. I could suddenly see so clearly the different aspects of myself, my potency, my sovereignty, my sense of possibility, that I had surrendered to others -- usually to people who never asked for it to begin with or who would have been dismayed to realize what I had done. I've also siphoned off pieces of myself and given them to characters I've created in gaming or writing, and I need to take back myself from them as well. (I worked through the initial understanding of that in a series of posts about my "glorious shadow" on my primary journal a couple of years ago.)
I need to go into ritual space, name the power I've given up, and to whom, and why it seemed like a good idea at the time, and then take that power back -- while re-affirming the relationships but on new terms.
As always, the primary comfort in realizing I'm revisiting old work is that I *am* doing so in a new way, which means that I have been making progress.
In the latter part of that meditation session I realized that I need to do a power reclaiming ritual. I could suddenly see so clearly the different aspects of myself, my potency, my sovereignty, my sense of possibility, that I had surrendered to others -- usually to people who never asked for it to begin with or who would have been dismayed to realize what I had done. I've also siphoned off pieces of myself and given them to characters I've created in gaming or writing, and I need to take back myself from them as well. (I worked through the initial understanding of that in a series of posts about my "glorious shadow" on my primary journal a couple of years ago.)
I need to go into ritual space, name the power I've given up, and to whom, and why it seemed like a good idea at the time, and then take that power back -- while re-affirming the relationships but on new terms.
As always, the primary comfort in realizing I'm revisiting old work is that I *am* doing so in a new way, which means that I have been making progress.
