Vigil

[qos]

I firmly believe that most of the essential work of spirituality is done in the bits and pieces of daily life: not just maintaining regular practices, but making choices that align with my beliefs and values, maintaining the bonds of relationship with those around me, seen and unseen, and etc.

But then there are the Other Times, when it's necessary to do something bigger, more intense, more deep. This seems to be one of those times.

The daily work is a grind, and I can feel my relationship with Ereshkigal losing immediacy. Not good. Being Her priestess means that maintaining that relationship in a vital way is at the core of my path. Of course it will go through ups and downs, and the intensity will wax and wane. . . but it's been waning far too much over the past couple of months.

So it's time to do something to re-set my inner calibrations, take myself deeper than my daily practices have been going.

There's a vigil in my near future: an all-night communion with Herself that needs to occur.

I'm not sure yet what specifically needs to be done during that time, and I'm sure She will have Her own ideas that I won't know about until then, but I have a week or so to meditate and let things emerge.

As is frequently the case, I wish that there was someone close by who shared more of the specific work that I do. . . But almost as soon as I formed that thought I got a shake of the head from Her. I need to discern, prepare, and follow through alone this time. I need to push myself and prove to myself -- and to Her -- that I can do it.

Comments

[watcher457.livejournal.com]

oh, hehe. well, there goes my question. You said that and I was thinking that was a fantastic idea, I should do that for Anubis. Will still think about doing it, but I was going to grill you on what you do and share ideas and what not, but it sounds like Mistress has said no.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

I don't mind sharing. It's just that at the moment I don't know what it's going to involve. I'd be happy to share ideas.

I know where and when, and a little bit of the what, but it's going to emerge over the next few days -- plus whatever Ereshkigal brings unexpectedly.

[watcher457.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to decide on the where and when. Interestingly, the Festival of Anubis visiting the Necropoli is this week. I'm celebrating on Thursday. I was thinking of doing it that night, but I just really don't know where. Seems strange to do it in my bedroom when my sister is in the house sleeping, and I don't have a patio. I'm not sure what I'd do, either. And he mya be busy that night. I'll have to think on it.

[erl-queen.livejournal.com]

A cemetery? If you have one nearby that would be relatively safe to sit in all night, that could be quite an experience.

[watcher457.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Unfortunately, the only one I have nearby is not within walking distance, and I think has formal hours. However, you did remind me of a path that run behind my apartment along a creek. A little farther down the path, there is a crossroads that is sort of away from all the apartments it runs through. That would be a good place, too.

[erl-queen.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think most cemeteries have formal hours, but that's never stopped me before. :) If you're quiet and unobtrusive, it's usually easy to sneak in after closing and settle down in a corner somewhere. But the crossroads by the creek sounds very appropriate too.

I'm very fortunate in that my city has a thousand little out-of-the-way, even forested places to do such things, and is a relatively safe place.

[erl-queen.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. The daily, constant practices are so crucial, they are the foundation, but there are definitely times when something different is called for. A vigil sounds like a good idea. I'll be doing something similar with Persephone on the equinox, coming up. Something at night, alone, in teh forest.

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

Incidentally, I read this right after your entry here and it seemed relevant:
http://yezida.livejournal.com/199888.html
blessings,
Oli

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

That is perfect for me right now.